You Write the Caption: Matchday Edition

Good afternoon folks. Today is the big day. USA vs. Spain. In honor of the big friendly I decided to do a matchday you write the caption.

This won’t be an official edition of YWTC, so there won’t be a t-shirt given away by SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel today, but I might change my mind on that if there is enough comedy in the submissions to merit it.

Here it is, a picture of Spain manager Luis Aragones delivering a message to Fernando Torres:


Fernando, I already told you no hat-trick against the USA. You have to save some goals for the tournament.

Now it’s your turn. Let’s here some funny captions and if there are enough good ones, then I will award the funniest caption a t-shirt of the writer’s choice from Objectivo Apparel.

Fire away.

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81 Responses to You Write the Caption: Matchday Edition

  1. usnavysrchief says:

    Now, Now Fernando! Don’t come crying to me about you losing your Tan in England. The chicks still dig you!!!

  2. jevanvoo says:

    yes, you have a very pretty face but there just isn’t room for cheerleaders in European futball yet

  3. Aengus says:

    “I know it was you Fernando. You Broke my heart. You broke my heart”

  4. MC says:

    “I love putting my old wrinkled dry hands all over your face.”

  5. buckeye9 says:

    Luis: Aww. it’s ok, Arnold said the Gooch takes everyone’s lunch money.

    Fernando: Whatcha talkin about Luis?

  6. elmatador78 says:

    awww!! you hurt your ankle during practice, don’t worry I won’t make you play against United States, we’ll beat them anyway..

  7. Adam says:

    Your glands feel fine… you cleared to dive.

  8. Adam says:

    chubby cheeks!

  9. EDB says:

    Cheer up , did you see Englad score 2? That means you can score 3.

  10. But Fernando . . . you had me at hello . . .

    +++++ OR ++++++

    You are too much for me Fernando . . . I wish I knew how to quit you

  11. brett says:

    Aengus- lol, ZOOOOOOOOOLANDER!!!! excellent refrence…. give him a shirt Ives, GIVE IT TO HIM!!

  12. Jeff says:

    Boy you sure do got a prettly little mouth.

  13. LDogg says:

    “Don’t Cry Fernando, Onyewu didn’t really mean what he said about your hair.”

  14. Joe_in_ND says:

    Whose my big boy? Whose my big boy? You are. ‘Nando’s my big boy, yes he is.

  15. Daniel says:

    Luis: “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

  16. anotherbodymurdered says:



  17. William the Terror says:

    “Baby face. You’ve got the cutest little baby face.”

  18. sidenetting says:

    Listen to me: Stay AWAY from Bradley…he’ll break your leg if you’re not careful.

  19. Jeffrey says:

    Wow! Just 5 minutes once a day and I can have white teeth like these?

  20. Mike says:

    “Hey Fernando, hey, look at’s okay if you made a mistake. Look at Ives, he can’t even spell hear correctly.”

    JK Ives, I had nothing else. Someone took my glands idea.

  21. Brant says:

    “Forget Thierry Henry! You – YOU! – should’ve been in the razor commercial. This is the face that can sell a million razors.”

  22. ejs says:

    Your looking a bit down today Fernando did Rafa buy another forward?

  23. Jamie Z. says:

    “Nando, do I ever tell you how much I love that you are white?”

  24. Seisco says:

    “I don’t know how Rafa runs things over there, but here, we hug it out bitch.”

  25. brent says:

    Grandpa, your embarassing me!

  26. LA Metro says:

    What do we do when we fall down Fernando? We call for a card.

  27. ccfc0123 says:

    I like you like me??

  28. Duthie says:

    Ok Fernando, we get the plastic surgeon to pull your cheeks back and you’ll be el nino forever.

  29. Brett says:

    Yes the jaw seems intact now, but we will look at it again after you meet Gooch.

  30. John says:

    Isn’t that the scene from Mr. Holland’s Opus…..”beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”

  31. kpugs says:

    Brett, are you serious? Try The Godfather Part II. Wow that is just terrible on your part.

  32. wolverhampton wanderers says:

    such a pretty face, it’s a shame so many balls will be slapping against it

  33. Will says:

    Come here and let me see how much you’ve grown! You’ve gotten so big! What have they been feeding you in Liverpool?

  34. cbr says:

    listen, what just happend in the locker room is just between you and me ok? promise me you can keep a secret

  35. Aguinaga says:

    Aengus wins it LOL

  36. William the Terror says:

    “Fernando, the game films hint at your beauty, but up close you are exquisite. Can we meet tonight for tapas?”

  37. John says:

    jose, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

  38. MetroTard says:

    John McCain consoles Hillary Clinton.

  39. Rahul says:

    Now turn you head and cough

  40. Rahul says:

    Now turn you head and cough

  41. angler23 says:

    Arragones helps warm up Torres’ jaw before eating the USA’s lunch.

  42. Ethan says:

    Fernando, please focus. Remember those words I taught you? Don’t use them today. Jared Borgetti was the last player to call Oguchi Onyewu “negro de mierda.”

  43. Luis Sepulveda says:

    Fernandooooo….don’t worry we’ll find Toto.

  44. Grizzly Bear says:

    Now open up and say Ahhh!

  45. Dominghosa says:

    Aragones: “You … complete me.”

  46. Grizzly Bear says:

    Wait, you’re not Luis Garcia.

  47. Dominghosa says:

    A more complete version…

    Aragones: “We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You … complete me.”

  48. Dominghosa says:

    Attempt No. 2…

    Aragones: ” I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.”

  49. Luis says:

    Fernando…..I am your father.

  50. Mig says:

    Yes, Fernando, you are great. But when you have retired, I will still be coaching this team.

  51. Dominghosa says:

    Sorry, but this is too easy…

    Attempt No. 3:

    Aragones: “I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”


    “I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”

  52. Dominghosa says:

    OK, last one…

    “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

  53. ricecloudnine says:

    Why yes Fernando, your lymph nodes do feel swollen. I fear it maybe the onset of “Spain can’t get past the quarterfinals of a major tournament-itis”

  54. HomeyBoehme says:

    No, no. You are playing great! But your hair…I can’t coach your f***ing hair, Torres. Please just wash it or something.

  55. Danny says:

    Did you wash behind your ears? Let me check.

  56. A-man says:

    Wipe your tears Fernando, there is nothing you can do. This is our plight: no matter how great we will look against the US, we will end up losing against France… WE’RE ALWAYS OUSTED BY FRANCE !!!!

  57. nicholas s. says:

    “Look at me, Look at me, Loot at me…. You are SO prettier than Beckham, don’t even listen to what anyone says.”

  58. Blake says:

    No, Fernando, your teeth don’t look as bad as Sven-Goran Eriksson’s. Now get back on the field and stop worrying about it.

  59. Blake says:

    There was something in the air that night – the stars were bright, Fernando

  60. arm says:

    it’s okay, bubbela, you can’t do it all by yourself!

  61. Dante says:

    “Fernando, I am so happy you’re not black.”

    Oh come on, someone had to say it.

  62. Moneyball says:

    Oh my God, it’s Hanson! I -err, my daughter- loved Mmmbop.

  63. TBryantMU says:

    Aragones: “I can show you the world…shining, shimmering, splendid…”

  64. Ryan says:

    Cheer up!… Now that you’re here you don’t have to worry about standing next to Crouch at the urinal.

  65. derek Gores says:

    Fernando, we’ll never win FIFA’s Fair Play award if you make fun of the USA’s lack of forward depth by sporting Brian McBride’s old haircut.

  66. AC says:

    You know all those goals you’ve been scoring in the Premier League…Why haven’t you been doing that for the National Team?!

  67. CPTKevin says:

    “Can you hear the drums Fernando?

    I remember long ago another starry night like this…”

  68. Scott A says:

    You’re a Pisces you say? I’m sorry, Fernando, that doesn’t fit in with my tactics. You’ll have to come out.

  69. Kyle says:

    Buck up little campista maybe next year you’ll score more goals than ronaldo

  70. inkedAG says:

    Awe bubbleh!! Look at that little poonim!

  71. Steve says:

    Fernando, I’ve already told you. You are going to be my workhorse throughout the Euro’s…so keep eating the oats out of my hands. You need your strength!

  72. Richie B says:

    No Fernando, I’m not doubling as the physio, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  73. CPTKevin says:

    You sing this version Nando!

    “There is something in the air tonight

    The stars are bright, Fernando

    They are shining there for you and me

    For VICTORY, Fernando

    Though I never thought that we could lose

    Theres no regret

    If I had to do the same again

    I would, my friend, Fernando”

  74. LUIS ARAGONES: *whimpering* But Fernando . . . age is only a number!

  75. plopplopfizzfizz says:

    yes the smooth… I like very much, Raul too much the scruff, no can be Spain forward with shaggy dog scruff

  76. Chris says:

    Hey boy, you got a pretty mouth.

    or rather

    Oye niƱo, tu tienes una boca bonita

  77. MZ says:

    Luis: God damn it you have pale skin, you need to put some tanning lotion on right away. Your representing Spain, you have to look beautiful and tan. (just like me)

  78. TapocoL says:

    Aragones: Are you Torres or Ramos?

    Assistant Coach: Just touch his face.

  79. Justin says:

    Assistant: “Are you sure he’s not a machine?”

    Aragones: “Well, he certainly feels human, but when he’s out there I can’t tell.”

  80. Darren says:

    Luis Aragones checking Fernando match day fitness. After checking his teeth, he is going to squeeze his balls.(Ala show dog style)

  81. Don says:

    Spit out the gum! Use that nervous energy to run at the Americans.