You Write the Caption: Ronaldo Rehab edition

Good afternoon folks. It is time for the latest installment of You Write the Caption.

Before we get to the new photo, I want to congratulate Darwin for winning the previous YWTC: The Josh Wicks edition.

Now, onto this week’s edition. The subject is none other than Brazilian legend Ronaldo, who is in Brazil rehabilitating from his most recent knee surgery. Here is a picture of him resting between workouts:


‘Ronaldo takes a break from practice by sitting on Abel Xavier.’

Now it’s your turn. Give us your funniest captions and please remember to keep them clean.

Fire away.

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113 Responses to You Write the Caption: Ronaldo Rehab edition

  1. Dave says:

    Ronaldo acts out of how down the toilet his career is

  2. Chris says:

    “Exhausted from a hard day of fighting off trannies and hiding from the media, Ronaldo takes a break”

  3. Ethan Helm says:

    mmmmm….man hooker

  4. John says:

    To decrease his vulnerability to another knee injury, Ronaldo had surgeons attach a third leg.

  5. mutinyfan says:

    oh yeah this will help me get ready for that transvestite. mixing business with pleasure

  6. Jacob A. says:

    Ronaldo, proving he did not want the hookers to be crossdressers/transvestites by purposely turning the pointy end of the cone down to sit on it, takes a break from his vigorous rehab session at home in Brazil.

    (Long I know…)

  7. John says:

    Desperate to justify his salary by providing value to the team, Ronaldo offers to serve as a 3-legged stool during practices.

  8. John says:

    Because of declining play and massive debts owed advisors, agents and friends, it’s obvious that Ronaldo doesn’t even have a pot to piss in.

  9. KingSnake says:

    “Saigon … S**t.”

  10. Andy in Atlanta says:

    “Just preparing for those laxatives to kick in…I ‘ll teach them for calling me fat”

  11. tburdette87 says:

    That ref sure does look good in those tight shorts!

  12. Mike says:

    Ronaldo trying to poop out some of the fat to get his rehab back on track.

  13. Charlie N. says:

    Ronaldo crapping out the recently consumed travelocity gnome.

  14. quartz62 says:

    “Hey Becks, you sure they go in this side up?”

  15. Dave says:

    The cones later demanded money to keep quiet.

  16. Jeffrey says:

    Dejected for falling for the old “its a costume party” gag, Ronaldo sits on part of his Cat in the Hat costume.

  17. EP says:

    Ronaldo has learned on the streets of Brazil the preferable way to sit on a traffic cone

  18. Kurt says:

    Stunned about another ‘knee’ injury, Ronaldo was asked about the new cast on his heinie. Confused Ronaldo replied, “I was pretty sure I injured my weenie, it keeps swelling up.”

  19. generalisimo02 says:

    Ronaldo shocks the world by tatooing his dingus orange and white.

  20. Chuck says:

    “Hey Coach, I told you I really had to go”


    “Hey coach, this is what I think of your stupid cone drills”

  21. RapidsMan says:

    Damn, I miss those trannies.

  22. Ed says:

    “So you’re telling me this is all I have to do in that MLS to get $4 million a year?”

  23. Bob says:

    Eeeeeerrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh who…does number…two work…for….plop…aaahhhh.

  24. Ossington Mental Youth says:

    Nothing to do with captions but thought youd find it interesting none the less Ives.

    link to

    Carver says that if TFC/MLSE doesnt sign a DP for next season he will leave.

    Itll be an interesting season either way.

    It opens the door for him to leave as a nice guy who loved the club (which i believe he does) and puts MLSE/Mo in the spotlight. I do think he wants to stay (apparently hes been approached by two teams already and hes declined). Itd be win/win if we did sign an appropriate DP.

  25. TapocoL says:

    In practice, Ronaldo tries to flatten out cones, as he no longer can get around them.

  26. Joe G. says:

    After paying for Ronaldo’s salary, a proper bench was deemed too expensive and cut from the budget….

  27. WTF says:


  28. zackc says:

    Ronaldo winces, already regretting his Cat-in-the-Hat suppository.

  29. hA! says:

    “Ronaldo Contemplates Red Bull New York Move by imagining the meatpacking district.”

  30. ManDawg says:

    “Taco Bell was a BAD choice”

  31. Pongabila says:

    Ronaldo started to regret eating the Cat in the Hat after it took 2 laxatives just to pass the hat.

  32. Landis says:

    “Due to the current global financial crisis, Ronaldo has been forced to train as he did as a youth- with a sit and spin.”

  33. Gfunk says:

    “I know they had to cut budget on facilities this year, but this is ridiculous!!”

  34. Beavis says:

    I am Ronaldio. Me need TP for my bunghole.

  35. boneall says:

    I know they’re upset about my weight gain, but making me go out here is over the line!

  36. Angel says:

    Damn it, it is going to be LA Galaxy or that New york Redbull both suck this season. ummmm is so hard to think where should I go while I taking a Dump!!!

  37. RSF says:

    I always wanted to be a conehead for Halloween.

  38. Angel says:

    this is what I think of Beckham time in the Galaxy!!

  39. Kyle says:

    When asked if Ronaldo had enough left in the tank to be competitive in the MLS he responded, “Are you kidding? I eat MLS-quality defenders for breakfast.” Here’s proof…

  40. Overfiend says:

    “Dis is how we wear hats in brazeeeel, ok ju motha fukas?!”

  41. quakes fan says:

    “Rehab gives me a coner”

  42. dcpohl says:

    Ronaldo thinks, “Ah, the beautiful game, the only place those trannies can’t get me.”

  43. ivanov says:


  44. Michael says:

    As one can see, Brazil’s space program is light-years ahead of the rest of South America.

  45. rednow.red4ever says:

    With the global financial crisis reaching its boiling point, even Ronaldo reluctantly lent a helping hand by manually drilling for oil with his heiny.

  46. Mike Caramba says:

    Ronaldo’s character brought back into question as he boycotts practice, demanding Twinkies and hookers that he thinks are women.

  47. voyager says:

    Ya know, I think if I spin really fast I could dig a hole to China.

  48. Barry Jive and His Uptown Five says:

    Ronaldo finally feels the effect of eating 10 lbs of candy corn in one sitting.

  49. Johnny says:

    Porto Potty.

  50. RedLine55 says:

    Looking into a crystal ball:

    “I.. can… see… Cristiano in 5 years”

  51. Anthony Bouts says:

    Brazilian legend Ronaldo, on the comeback trail, had to stack up sixteen traffic cones to support himself properly

  52. cbr says:

    “I bet i can kick a ball right over them mountians”

  53. jeffe says:

    if only i can get them to pay me just sit here and take the corners. i’m way to chunky for all this running.

  54. sidenetting says:

    Fat, cold, lonely, constipated and despondent…until Alexi Lalas gets a new GM gig.

  55. Squard says:

    Sex with a Tranny:


  56. Brian Hagen says:

    “Cat in the Shat”

  57. older & wiser says:

    Chalk one up to the language barrier. Ronaldo gets “dump scat” out of “dunce cap.”

  58. Mike Caramba says:

    Ronaldo’s character brought back into question as he boycotts practice, demanding Twinkies and hookers that he thinks are women.

  59. Mike Caramba says:

    With an MLS transfer looming, Ronaldo trains against the LA Galaxy scout team.

  60. jspot says:

    (music inside his head) “outside inside out livin la vida loca”

    or my favorite

    Internal monologue: “It really stings when I pee. That can’t be good…”

  61. PCFC says:

    This one was pure glory:

    “Ronaldo Contemplates Red Bull New York Move by imagining the meatpacking district.”

  62. Brokenbil says:

    I shouldn’t have had that bottle of cachaça for lunch…

  63. EMP says:


  64. SF says:

    “Um, you’re supposed to WEAR the dunce cap not SIT on the dunce cap.”

  65. andrew dunson says:

    “I shouldn’t have eaten all those pies.”

  66. Michael vann says:

    After being questioned by his Flamengo mates, Ronaldo demonstrates the size of the “third leg” he encountered with his Tranny pals!

  67. Wispy says:

    Eager to woo Ronaldo to MLS, FC Dallas gifted the Brazilian with a Hoops jersey. When Ronaldo told FC Dallas where to stick, they did.

  68. Wispy says:

    Sorry that should read:

    Eager to woo Ronaldo to MLS, FC Dallas gifted the Brazilian with a Hoops jersey. When Ronaldo told FC Dallas where to stick it, they did.

  69. Charlie N. says:

    Ronaldo not liking the new uniform for the 4th division Stalactite Hemorrhoidals

  70. Rudy says:

    Ronaldo craps where HE wants to crap.

  71. Uncle Charlie says:

    Okay the cone is in, I’m ready for the gerbils.

  72. J Ray says:

    What you don’t realize is that this is a two sided cone!

  73. Richard says:

    Listen… I thought he was a she…

  74. PCFC says:

    “I need a Red Bull.”

  75. Tom P says:

    My piles are killing me.

  76. CPTKevin says:

    Hollywood hits a new low. On the set of “Austin Powers VI, Bend it like Becks”, Staring Ronaldo and the Travelocity Gnome. “Get in my anus!”


    Ronaldo and the Travelocity Gnome redefine feltching!

  77. Steve says:

    “Ronaldo has obviously learned his lesson…and is no deciding not to take the pointy hard part up the rear…”

  78. MetroTard says:

    Ronaldo on the john? I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot…oh never mind.

  79. dallen says:

    The Abel Xavier Award for least mobile footballer trophy: Less prestigious than the Balon D’Or but much, much easier on the prostate.

  80. Peen Us says:

    Man – even MLS won’t take me.

  81. Dominghosa says:

    “A confused Ronaldo was told to sit in the corner and put on his dunce camp.”

  82. Dominghosa says:

    er… “After another mistake with his decision-making ability, a confused Ronaldo was told to sit in the corner and put on his dunce cap.”

  83. jacobi millionaire says:

    “You should see the other end”

  84. Scott A says:

    The city of Milan’s most glamorous crossing guard takes a break on the job

  85. Pablo Chicago says:

    Peter Crouch and Ronaldo ponder what’s left of their careers.

  86. older & wiser says:

    Dunce cap . . . I thought you said “Dump scat.”

  87. nicky says:

    Transvestite Hooker – “You’re sitting on the wrong end.”

  88. Pablo Chicago says:

    Ronaldo takes a break from his pole dancing training session.

  89. Malice says:

    I wish SBI was a magazine…

  90. Nic D "The Texas 2 Stepper" says:

    First the cone . . . then the POLL! Strange training indeed!

  91. First, the knee injury. Now, hemmroids. What else will keep Ronaldo off the pitch?

  92. Sean says:

    Former Brazilian soccer superstar, Ronaldo, who still believes he has a future in football, repeatedly rejected fans’ claims that he’s “lost touch with reality”.

    Shortly after, Ronaldo showed up to soccer practice with traffic cones and a javelin.

  93. j1m says:

    Abel Xavier = Traffic Cone.

    I like Ives best so far.

  94. Sal Epps says:

    well, they say you are what you eat, in this case an ice cream cone,

  95. kswiss says:

    Ronaldo makes a crude attempt at a joke, after being told to “go play in traffic”.

  96. Mark says:

    Dejected over his club situation, Ronaldo takes a poop on Danny Califf.

  97. huricano says:

    I’d get up and run, but on of these is pointing the wrong way.

  98. Eric Anderson says:

    “At least this thing doesn’t have a dick.”

  99. Jamie Z. says:

    I’m referring all of your stupid captions to the Department Of Redundancy Department.

  100. TCompton says:

    After getting picked after the Orange Traffic Cone in last weekend’s pick-up soccer match, Ronaldo did his best to keep it from happening again.

  101. TCompton says:

    If you can’t beat them, join them.

  102. DemonJuice says:

    Ronaldo studies the pitch in horror as he prepares for the MLS season opener at Giants stadium.

  103. Boodrow says:

    “Ronaldo limbers up before a long night out on the town.”


    “Doc, I don’t these suppositories you gave me for my knee are working properly.”


    Ronaldo ponders: “How did I go from 3-time World Player of the Year to coaching the youth academy for the Colorado freakin’ Rapids?”

  104. Brian.MLS says:

    After being told to “sit on it and rotate” trying to land a contract, Ronaldo contemplates whether the ‘rotate’ part would cause yet another knee injury.

  105. James says:

    Ronaldo in full-swing of rehabbing his hemorrhoids.

  106. Monkey Boy says:

    Proof that the fincial crisis has hit Brazil, as legendary striker Ronaldo is forced to use a traffic cone as a porta-potti during training.

  107. Nathan says:

    For a change, Ronaldo tries sitting on the non-pointy end of the cone.

  108. ccfc0123 says:

    poor cone

  109. doug says:

    Whaddya mean no trannies after training?

  110. CPTKevin says:

    Oh God, please Lord, help me to relase this deamon. Ahhhhh…. Thank you Lord, the most merciful almighty… Eh. Hold on! AAAaaaahhhhhhhhh…. those enchiladas. Thank you Lord.

  111. Kyle says:

    “If only I had a time machine….”

  112. Loonarie says:

    I hope no one notices I used the corner flag to wipe.

  113. Jeremy says:

    Ronaldo taking a “Califf”