You Write the Caption: John Wolyniec edition

Good afternoon all. It is time for a special MLS playoff edition of You Write the Caption. I know I haven’t gotten around to picking the Top 10 captions from the Freddie Ljungberg edition of YWTC but I promise to have that up this week.

The new You Write the Caption comes courtesy of Red Bulls striker John Wolyniec, who scored his first goal of 2008 in dramatic fashion, to help seal his team’s 3-0 upset win against Houston. After waiting all year to score a goal, Wolyniec pulled out the Thriller Dance as his goal celebration. The dance selection was surprising, but the terrible form in executing the dance made the moment a classic.

Wolyniec laughed when asked about the dance and admit

"I wouldn’t say I’ve been practicing," Wolyniec admitted. "If you watch the tape you probably notice I haven’t been practicing, but it was a good feeling.

"It always seems like teams that make runs in playoffs always have a little gimmick inside the locker room. Maybe that’s ours and I just hope it’s something we can piggyback off of and use going forward."

Now, onto the YWTC, and Wolyniec’s awful rendition of a classic dance move:


"Michael Jackson’s nose rolls over in its grave after watching some soccer player butcher one of the best dance moves ever."

Now it’s your turn. I know the SBI Mafia can get creative so let’s hear some good caption suggestions. As always, I will pick the ten best and post them for readers to vote on.

Fire away.

This entry was posted in MLS- New York Red Bulls, You Write the Caption. Bookmark the permalink.

120 Responses to You Write the Caption: John Wolyniec edition

  1. nicholas Skyles says:

    “The Thrilla’ is Vanilla.”

  2. Barrak says:

    Is that Pat Sajak? I must say…

  3. DavidJ says:

    I hereby banish playoff futility forever!

  4. smorebs says:

    Huston’s Japanese residents run in fear at the sight of WO-ZILLA

  5. Steve says:

    Due to his lack of quality attacking play, John Wolyniec tries to scare the Houston defense through other means.

  6. boneall says:

    Man that’s scary…wait, that’s the back of the net.

  7. Aguinaga says:

    What are you looking at dicknose

  8. RBNY Mile High Outpost says:


  9. JVC-RSL says:

    After a months of laser hair removal and behavioral therapy, the sasquatch proves to be an asset to the Red Bulls attack.

  10. cbr says:

    “show me sexy”

  11. Rene says:

    I am JoWo…hear me ROAR!!!

  12. Ed says:

    With silver hair and gnarled hands, Michael Jackson’s life long dream of becoming an under appreciated white man playing soccer was finally complete.

  13. Jesse says:

    john… is the only player old enough in the MLS to still remember that dance!!!!!!!

  14. Ryan says:


  15. Mike Caramba says:

    Evidence that, despite countless jokes, Michael Jackson isn’t actually white.

  16. Patrick Cook says:

    John imitates what has become of Michael Jackson’s career, a bad thriller impression

  17. Tom From Syracuse says:

    Sometimes you gotta go old-school. Sometimes, you gotta go URKEL.

  18. Wolver Wanderer!!! says:

    woly’s reaction after seeing d-ro’s cornro’s

  19. ko'd says:

    Just For Men: John’s Freaky Moves in Just Five Minutes

  20. Chris says:

    …On second thought, I’ll just stick to the Diet Pepsi…

  21. PS says:

    In a development that has experts baffled John Wolyniec has developed a severe case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome playing soccer.

  22. g-loff says:

    Woly, sensing that his career has reached it’s pinnacle, does an impromptu audition for “dancing with the stars” the one and only time he has had the spotlight.

  23. Tait says:

    In a brief lapse in judgment, John Wolyniec confuses his team for Sobe Life Water New York.

  24. j1m says:

    Mel Brook’s unveils his latest adaptation of Young Frankenstein starring Ted Cassidy in an off-Broadway collaboration with Michael Jackson.

  25. Monkey Boy says:

    Red Bulls’ striker John Wolyniec reacts to a shocking and rarely seen product of his play on the field — scoring a goal.

  26. Aguinaga says:

    I still think he really thought he was doing the Teen Wolf.

  27. Brant says:

    Abel Xavier jumps out and says “boo” while John Wolyniec is trick-or-treating disguised as a professional soccer player.

  28. show me potato salad says:

    Another proud graduate of Alfonso Ribeiro’s School of Dance.

  29. Eshad says:

    You’re an animal, grr baby, grr…..

  30. Jeremy says:

    I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

  31. jjtbone says:

    After his previous international transfers proved to be disappointing, Juan Carlos Osorio tried a different approach…..the living dead!

  32. Michael says:

    “You put your right foot in and you shake it all about, you do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, thats what its all about.”

  33. Bert says:

    Lean back, lean back

  34. Bob says:

    He did the mash

    He did the monster mash

    The monster mash

    It was a graveyard smash

    He did the mash

    It caught on in a flash

    He did the mash

    He did the monster mash

  35. Jacob says:

    Indigenous to the swamps of New Jersey, the Silver Fox can grow to over 5 ft tall and is known to feast on Houston Dynamo defenders.

  36. eric says:

    Woly celebrates his goal by boldly challenging Peter “The Robot” Crouch to a dance off

  37. BellusLudas says:

    Wardrobe Malfunction!

  38. Bob says:

    This is the Sexy futbol that LA was missing!

  39. WTF says:


  40. PKTaker says:


  41. gaucho says:

    It’s a cruel irony that in a week where racial barriers were broken, John Wolyniec showed that white men still can’t dance.

  42. inkedAG says:


  43. g-loff says:

    “No, don’t put Cichero in Coach, don’t do…ooooh, there’s a red card”

  44. BlueWhiteLion says:

    Red Bull fans agree: they’ll take the Thrill of the win over the agony of de Feet (and those dance moves) anytime.

    Jeremy . . . great caption!

  45. Ives says:

    I haven’t read all of these yet but I have to say that the “Lean back, lean back” caption made me laugh out loud. Well played.

  46. Darwin says:

    John Wolyniec performs an Ancient Voodo Ritual Dance to insure more playing time over Macoumba Kandji.

  47. Hops says:

    Wolyniec celebrates his goal by going Cougar hunting. Unfortunatly he’s too grey for any of Houston’s ladies to take the bait.

  48. Jamie Z. says:


    Posted by: RBNY Mile High Outpost | November 10, 2008 at 01:51 PM


    You beat me to it!

  49. Sterlinho says:

    Who let grandpa on the team?


    Wolyniec’s best impression of Marlon Brando in Godfather.

  50. Squard says:

    John Wolyniec is the only dancer in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video that needed no makeup.

  51. Wispy says:

    After getting repeatedly torched by the Red Bull attack Sunday, Dynamo defenders resorted to giving atomic wedgies.

  52. Areign says:

    thank god he only scores once every 500 years

  53. Brian says:

    The winner has to be Jeremy with the Scooby Doo impression…

  54. Ian S. says:

    We Galaxy fans always knew Woly was amongst the living dead, and we are so proud of him for finally coming out of the grave about it.

  55. jpc says:

    I need to see something else John, and i’m not gonna lie to ya, its gonna get weird. Two dragons

  56. Dannyc58 says:

    John Wolyniec’s reaction when told he wears his shorts too high.

  57. socratestes says:

    Previously thought to be a myth, we now have visual evidence that an albino rhino can stand on its two hind legs.

  58. Ry Guy says:

    After finally landing his dream role of a professional soccer player in the the new movie, “Goal! Five – I’m sure these legs have another season left in them”,

    John Wolyniec performs some acting drills with the coaching of co-stars Ben Afleck and Matt Damon…….

    “Lion Face! RAAAAA! Lemon Face! EWWWW! Lion Face! RAAAA!”

  59. Tom P says:

    Grandpa.. bought a rubber.

    (helps if you sing it)

  60. Modibo says:

    Wolyniec attempts to strike fear in heart of Mac Kandji at the rookie’s first RBNY practice.

  61. CPTKevin says:

    The new YouTube phenomenon, “The Evolution of Dance, Soccer Style” by John Wolyniec.

  62. BlueWhiteLion says:

    Ed with the gnarled hands . . . that’s great!

  63. Modibo says:

    When confronted in its natural habitat by larger, faster competitors, such as Mac Kandji, the Albino Rhino will display its fearsome weaponry to protect its turf, as seen in this rare photo.

    Sorry I know its the same theme as the last one. I just can’t get over that celebration. I couldn’t figure it out at the time, and now it’s starting to make sense.

  64. rich Rodrigues says:

    John Wolyniec auditions for the next installment of “so you think you can dance?”…

  65. Amit says:

    Wolyneic: “Raar! I’m kinkier than Shep”.

  66. Drew says:

    Wolyniec get’s to 2nd base with a ghost!

  67. Landis says:

    Wolyniec practices his moves in an attempt to make an impression for Nani’s remake of Thriller.

  68. Sammy4 says:

    Elaine from Seinfeld has finally found a dance partner.

  69. Justin O says:

    Sources say that Wolyniec (above) tested positive for at least 5 banned substances after Sunday’s match.

  70. Richard says:

    No wait were bulls now, oh well this is all i got.

  71. Tim says:

    John Wolyneic’s face after seeing himself in the mirror.

  72. Tim says:

    scratch that.

    John Wolyneic’s reaction after seeing himself in the mirror.

  73. Justin O says:

    UPI – Brian Ching (above) does his MC Hammer dance to celebrate Chicago’s 3-0 victory over Houston.

  74. Steve says:

    Fire BAAAD!!!

  75. nothing says:

    John Wolyniec after acidentally having his water switched with red bull.

  76. Mike D. says:

    Hey everybody, I’m white!!!!

  77. Dan Karell says:

    Wolyniec stands in fear as a Dynamo Fan Streaks across the field to attack him for their lost season.

  78. Anthony says:

    This was popular when I scored my last goal

  79. chupacabra says:

    John Wolyniec runs out of air quotes as he taunts the Houston Dynamo, “West Coast Champions” “unbeaten in the playoffs” with a “formidable” offense and “impenetrable” defense.

  80. Ferri says:

    What a horrible time for an acid flashback..

  81. Chuck says:

    “It scares the hell out of me when I do it infront of the mirror”

  82. Steve says:

    ‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night. And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike

  83. KingSnake says:

    “I deserve way more credit and respect than I ever receive.” – John Wolyniec

  84. ejs says:

    John Wolyniec is blown over by the sigh of relief from JCO after the Red Bulls secured a series victory.

  85. sean monaghan says:

    Theres a drunk dad on the field…hes trying to intimidate the linesman…

  86. Heffe says:

    “Don’t tase me, bro!!”

  87. marc Almeida says:

    and the next couple up is dane richards and john wolyniec, doing… THRILLER

  88. Jon E says:

    Surprisingly, more than 10% of MLS players have taken at least one mime class.

  89. roylassiterfan says:

    i went as the cowardly lion for halloween wanna see it

  90. Loonarie says:

    John tries to re-enact the closing dance scene of Michael J. Fox’s movie Teen Wolf with surprising success.

  91. MasterShake says:

    Goals…so easy a caveman can do it.

  92. sean says:

    “Hell yeah, I love me some cougars! Rarr!”

  93. KK says:

    ‘Cause this Is Thriller, Thriller Night

    and No-ones Gonna Save You from the Beast about Strike… once in every 897 minutes…

  94. Clayton says:

    Holy crap…I finally scored this year and now I have no idea what’s going on right now.

  95. Caldwell says:

    Cobras! Hisssssssss! Cobras! Hisssssssssss!

  96. Neumannator says:

    “…and that’s the story of how my hair turned gray when I was 11 years old.”

  97. BlueWhiteLion says:

    I just gotta say, these are some of the funniest captions I have seen! We have some real sharp wits on these boards!

  98. J spot says:

    John Wolyniec… scoring a goal… and dancing… YES WE CAN! That’s some change I can believe in!

  99. martha in miami says:

    you guys are having a field day with this one!… lol, thats a comment on the histerical comments not a caption, too many to choose! *that thrilla is vinilla* is classic, though.

  100. NJ Guy No Longer Stuck in DC says:

    Hope Solo, take THAT! Meeooww!

  101. This Guy says:

    He looks like a rabid Ted Danson.

  102. joe a. says:

    Entertainment update:red bulls forward john wolyniec has been casted as the lion in the new madagascar movie…ben stiller is out!!!

  103. JS says:

    Years later, Red Bull veteran John Wolyniec still shows the effects of Metro Playoff Fever.

  104. elmatador says:

    I have 10 Zombies behind me!

  105. elmatador says:

    I hope Dancing with the Stars calls me! I could use some extra money with the salary I make!

  106. Tim K says:

    I just won the award for worst celebration ever, lets celebrate!

  107. Wolyniec jumps up in a suprised fright as his colostomy bag springs a leak.


    Woly accepts the bet, and tries to prove he CAN pull his shorts up to his nipples, with horrifying results.

  108. quartz62 says:

    OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I SEE A SPIDER.

  109. Mike Caramba says:

    Ricardo Clark: “Whoa, did you guys see that?”

    Brian Ching: [mumbles] “I got that move…”

  110. Mike Caramba says:

    In an attempt to save face, Wolyniec claimed his Rum Tum Tugger impression was actually just a goofy, inside-joke rendition of the Thriller Dance

  111. Mike Caramba says:

    Do you see what you get, Joey? This is what you get, Joey, when you let a stranger score a goal…

  112. big money says:

    I hope none of michael jackson’s attourney’s see this

  113. Huts says:


  114. Betinho says:

    Woly turns around to find out the true identity of kpugs.

  115. Malice says:

    “…and now young Skywalker, you will die….”

  116. Malice says:

    Satisfied with putting a soccer ball in the back of the net, Wolyniec now turns his attention to a pesky ball of yarn.

  117. Binks says:

    “I’ve been doing this uncontrollably since I hit my head on the corner post in 03″

  118. El rey says:

    I did the mash, I did the monster mash!!

  119. Jugganaut says:

    Red Bulls striker Jon Wolyniec reacting to a mouse in his kitchen.