You Write the Caption: The Beckham-Arab Edition

Good morning folks. It has been a while since the last installment of You Write the Caption but it is time bring the contest back. We at SBI will be looking to keep it in the weekly rotation for those of you who think you are talented enough to provide some comedy on a regular basis.

This week's contest is brought to you by Objectivo Apparel, which will reward the winning caption writer with a t-shirt from it's collection.

This week's installment of YWTC features none other than David Beckham, who watched his AC Milan teammate Kaka turn down a monstrous transfer bid from Manchester City. We can all assume that Beckham would have turned down a similar offer, what with him being a lifelong Manchester United fan and all, but then again you can't help but wonder whether he might have considered the offer if Man City's Arab owners had come calling with their vast amounts of oil money.

With that in mind, here is this week's YWTC:

BeckhamYWTC (Reuters)   

'Hey Alexi, nice disguise but I still can't get you a job here at Milan."


"Why buy Kaka when you can have me and Victoria for half the price?"

Now it's your turn. Please submit your caption suggestions in the comments section below. Please remember to try and keep them reasonably short and tasteful enough for public consumption.

I will select the 10 best entries and put them up for a fan vote on which is the best. The writer of the winning caption will receive a prize of the t-shirt of their choice from the Objectivo Apparel line.

Now, fire away.

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106 Responses to You Write the Caption: The Beckham-Arab Edition

  1. dallen says:

    Why yes, the Armani ad was all me, thanks for asking!

  2. Landis says:

    You know I have my own fashion line, right?

  3. cbr says:

    “see you in 3 years mate”

  4. bubblehouse says:

    Let me be the first to Sheik your hand.

  5. Sean says:

    So Dwayne, how’s Toronto?

  6. Mike says:

    Hey Landon….good thing they make turbans in Bayern colors now, huh.

  7. PCFC says:

    Let the stereotyping and half-racist comments begin.

  8. busta says:

    stack chips and count that arab money

  9. David C says:

    yes, surprisingly, i make more money than you.

  10. Mr. Derp says:

    I would like DUBAI you a drink sometime.

  11. arkjayback says:

    They may have struck oil with Kaka, but you can run your team for years with my profits.

  12. steal your sounders says:

    I see no reason the galaxy wouldn’t loan me to Hamas United.

  13. Joe says:

    “My favorite song is “Arab Money” by Busta Rhymes ya know;)…”

  14. says:

    Sure, I can introduce you to *all* of the spice girls!

  15. df says:

    I used to have hair like that

  16. gaucho says:

    “That headdress is so great. Where’d you get it–Armani?”

  17. shs says:

    Sacha Baren Cohen’s latest alter ego, Ur Fyad, manages to fool Beckham into a mock interview once again.

  18. biological says:

    pcfc…agreed, seems like an invitation for that.

  19. steve says:

    Why yes, I do think the galaxy would accept a 108 Million pound offer for me, and no, I don’t think they’d accept it for Donovan.

  20. John G says:

    Hey Maldini, I think when they said “dress appropriately in Dubai”, they meant that it was going to be warm”

  21. Chad says:

    I could make that thing on your head look good!

  22. fubar says:

    Mmmmm – I love that fragrance you are wearing. Could that be the smell of…money?

  23. Isaac says:

    Becks: Shut up Sven

  24. Beckham takes part in ARAB PUNK’D as he thanks host Ahmed Kutcher for cleverly stealing Landon Donovans brand new Munich table clothe.

  25. SoulShadow says:

    Of course I’ll transfer to your new team, Chivas USA. This way I don’t even have to leave town!

  26. Robert says:

    Beckham: “Saddam, didn’t they kill you already?”

  27. Rocco says:

    Hey mate, nice dress; who is the designer and where can I pick one up for myself? I like to wear those things when my wife isn’t looking.

  28. Pablo Chicago says:

    Beckham’s note to self: Need to work on sincere smile.

  29. Daniel Karell says:

    Fabio Capello meeting with David Beckham…Capello didnt want anyone to know he was scouting

  30. Zizou says:

    I’d be interested in helping promote your newly founded Dubai Premier League. I promise I’ll last at least two full seasons this time.

  31. Scott says:

    Nice to meet you sir. It’s been a pleasure raking in your money.

  32. Keith Brown says:

    Yeah I’ll play for Man City. but only if Posh can have front row seats.

  33. Jacob A. says:

    “What’s that? Ownership opportunities?”

  34. Justice says:

    Thanks for wearing the Aviators- I look good. I mean really good.

  35. JoeW says:

    1. Yes, I am serious about playing in the West Bank Pro-Am League–anything would be better than the Galaxy.

    2. It’s always a pleasure to meet someone from Gazza–so tell me, how is Paul doing these days?

    3. Well, since there is no alcohol in Saudia Arabia, if I join your side at least no-one will say I play for a pub team!

  36. Pablo Chicago says:

    Why yes Posh, I just love your new look. So good to see you again. Give the children my best won’t you?

  37. matt says:

    $50 million dollars!? I am sorry, Mr. Beckham, but we cannot bid that amount of money to take you away from LA. Even at Manchester City, we are feeling the sting of the global economic crisis. We must be prudent going forward, we must weigh the costs and benefits of each deal carefully, and spending such an extravagant amount of money for a player of your age simply does not make economic sense. . . I will, however, give you $100 million for a lock of that beautiful hair.

  38. Sean says:

    I stack chips. AC Milan jersey sales gave me Arab money son!

  39. Dave says:

    Do you own any football teams? I would love to come here to save Arab football too for the right price!

  40. smorebs says:

    I’ll accept your bid if you include 3 of your wives, and I never have to play against United and I can tell IT to shut up.

  41. Jeremy says:

    “Derka derka”

    “I still have strong ties to Manchester United, it would look bad it I went to go to Man City.”

    “Derka derka 107 derka”

    “For 107 million…..I’m there”

  42. Chuck says:

    “I can’t believe this guy is paying $50M just to smile”

  43. :D says:

    Are you really Goldenballs?

  44. Shel says:

    Yes, I told Kaka that he should stay with top level players rather than move for money. Yes, I do actually play for the Galaxy and am just on loan to AC Milan. Yes, the Galaxy were second worst in MLS, and I make more than anyone else in the league. What’s your point?

  45. Mike in Columbus says:

    “Now the King told the boogie men…”

  46. Dannyc58 says:

    Our outfits kind of match, that is so sheik!

  47. nate says:

    “Don’t worry David, Milan will be just like LA: beautiful women, cutting edge fashion, and a word on your shirt you know nothing about.”

  48. mickey money says:

    deal Mr. Busta Rhymes I’ll be in your new video

  49. simms21 says:

    Beckham: “Seems like you guys already have enough Arab money….”

  50. LA Metro says:

    “You know, I baptized my son Brooklyn into your religion.”

  51. Eric says:

    No need to thank me, I am here for the kids

  52. Gabe says:

    Well I usually stick to modeling underwear, but what the hell… I’m a trendsetter… I’ll have American boys wearing those threads in no time.

  53. Jspot says:

    Whats that funny thing on your head… Victoria tells me its not very posh…

  54. Mike in Columbus says:

    What do you mean, “Jabroni”?

  55. snedecor says:

    Let me see… I´m at Milan to play UEFA Cup on Wednesdays and Thursdays, when I have to fly to L.A. for a MLS game on Saturdays just before taking another plane back to Milan for the Sunday’s Serie A match.. so I can play for your team on Mondays, if you don’t mind. But I think I’m free on Tuesdays too, do you need me to film some adv?

  56. elmatador says:

    I told Kaka to say no, but I’ll be more than glad to go…

  57. simms21 says:

    I guess picnic table is hot this season

  58. victor says:

    “Yes…yes…you are dazzled by my smile…you are under my spell. Now you will do as I say. When I shake your right hand, your left hand goes for your wallet…”

  59. JSF says:

    Quite correct, I am the English man with good teeth.

  60. BillSaysThis says:

    Team colors are red and black, mate, check the gift stand on yer way to the seats.

  61. tysk tysk says:

    Sure we can swap jerseys but you’ll need to take the Croatian home kit off your head.

  62. Richard, UK says:

    Confusion galore for Beckham when he has to perform a handshake with a Sheikh.

  63. TFC Fan says:

    ‘Sure I’ll swap shirts with you at the end of the game.’

  64. jjf3 says:

    Becks: No, sorry mate, my soul is no longer available, as I sold it a couple of years ago – you know, that whole LA thing…

  65. voyager says:

    “Hope no one notices me squeezing out a quick fart while I shake his hand.”

  66. Squard says:

    Thank you Sir, but my wife is not for sale… No, not for rent either.

  67. Fumar says:

    David Beckham finalizes a two-state Middle-East peace deal that has him at Haifa FC from January – June and Gaza FC from July – December.

  68. Monkey Boy says:

    Hi, I’m David Beckham. You might have heard of me back when I was at Real Madrid. I’ve been vacationing in sunny California, but just watch, I still have what it takes.

  69. ejs says:

    Don’t squeeze too hard Mr. Shiekh, I have a photo shoot with the Pope later.

  70. Drew says:

    Yes, I’d love to go to a picnic with you!

  71. Rob says:

    …and with a handshake with the producer, Beckham finalizes a $50 million contract for use of his name in the upcoming film, “In Baghdad Like Beckham.”

  72. Ian says:

    “Whatever keeps me out of LA…”

  73. Michael F. says:

    Of course I can play for you. There are still 3 weeks during the year when I don’t have any games. Let me just run it by the Galaxy, I’m sure they’ll loan me out again.

  74. Barcus says:

    You should’ve bought Real Madrid…

  75. Bauckus says:

    “Have you heard the good news about Herbalife?”

  76. muscfiorentina says:

    Yes I asked to meet you I wanted to see the guy who pay over $100 million for 1 player, hell for that price you can have my whole league.

  77. Pablo Chicago says:

    Beckham meets the newest member of the Spice Girls…Machnaz Spice.

  78. Pablo Chicago says:

    It’s Tuesday, I must be in France.

  79. Jacob A. says:

    musicfiorentina, a joke to be made outside of the contest, but thanks to the asking price, that wouldnt buy three teams.

  80. Gee, I never thought to model a tablecloth.

  81. Greg says:

    I’m really left handed!

  82. kevin says:

    “No I don’t wanna sign you, I just wanted your opinion, as a fashion-guru, on wearing a picnic blanket as a Turban. Does it bring out the color in my eyes?”

  83. Noname says:

    No, no, no, no, I am “chic” and you are a “Shiekh.” Trust me, it isn’t the same thing.

  84. Leevi says:

    Only thing Beckham ever really says is some squeaky British gibberish. It might be the sheik saying “What the f..?”

  85. bc says:

    “So you’re the nice man who has been taking care of my Villa in the Palms…”

  86. Heffe says:

    “Psst…I bet your team has money…why don’t you buy me from LA, so I can set a record of being with 3 different teams in a couple month period..”

  87. BEERGORILA says:

    thanks for releasing my buddy Grooverider…

  88. Mike Caramba says:

    Beckham used the opportunity to quash accusations of stupidity and ignorance by commenting on Euro-Arabian relations: “I don’t see what all this fuss is about these Saudi Iranians–this one seems a nice bloke-yeah?”

  89. Arriaga says:

    Arab Man: You know, in my country, we use our football stadium to stone to death people who dress provocatively in public.

    Beckham: (thinks of Armani underwear ad and smiles awkwardly)

  90. Amit says:

    In disguise, Bruce Arena tells David that he is a top 15 right- sided midfielder in MLS.

  91. ZachyT says:

    Sure I’ll model your underwear line, but how will they see it?

  92. CPTKevin says:

    Becks: “So this is where Petr Cech got the idea!”

  93. bratislava says:

    ahhh…nothing like good old fashioned racism

  94. DCU says:

    “Yeah, my relationship with America’s been disappointing too, but at least they have lots of money to waste on oil and marketing gimmicks.”

  95. Chupacabra says:

    “Oi! That geezer ‘as a towelie on ‘is ‘ed. In the States they told me all Arabs supported the towelie-ban!”

  96. Dan says:

    “Sheik your money maker like someone’s ’bout to pay ya.”

  97. jacobi millionaire says:

    “Excuse me, um, Mr. Beckham, but can you thank your friends in LA for buying so many SUVs?”

  98. Not my Real Name says:

    So David your telling me that Jay-Z Has 99 Problems, but a bitch aint 1?

    Yeah he told me that
    “If you’re havin’ girl problems i feel bad for you son
    I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”

    Wow he must not have 5 wives then or be married to an anorexic Silicone based life form- No Offense David.

  99. Colin Ferguson says:

    “Oh really? I thought U.A.E. stood for Unbelievably Absurd Expense accounts. My mistake.”

  100. Adrian B says:

    “Thanks for stopping by to check up on me Mr. Anschutz. That new tan and mustache are coming in nicely”

  101. Scott A says:

    Hi, my name’s Becks, Kaka tells me you’re looking for a man who values money over trophies?

  102. ekker says:

    Man in Saudi headgear:
    “It’s a deal! Now as per our contract, kindly ask your wife to stop dressing like a crazed woman/robot-alien. As for you, no more man-junk ads.”

    “Come again?”

  103. josh says:

    Hey David, you want to come to Inter?

  104. nate says:

    I think Ives’ Lalas caption at the beginning is the best of the bunch.

  105. ekker says:

    Soon Beckham realized that the mystery man trying to lure him back to the Galaxy was indeed Cobi Jones on stilts.

  106. Tim Farley says:

    So let me see if I’ve got this right – 90 minutes – who can make more money? It’s a bet, chap!