You Write the Caption: The ‘El Tri’ edition

Chances are that in the midst of your celebrating the U.S. team's rousing 3-0 victory against Trinidad & Tobago you might have missed Mexico's meltdown in Honduras.

Our neighbors to the south had a terrible time in San Pedro Sula, falling 3-1 to a Honduran team that has leapfrogged them in the CONCACAF qualifying standings. The defeat has Sven Goran Eriksson in danger of losing his job (again) and has Mexican fans nervous heading into a difficult summer.

We here at SBI never miss a chance to focus on the Mexican national team's struggles (we are, after all, an American soccer website) so we thought it was a good time to bring back You Write the Caption. We have a photo of Sven and everybody's favorite Uruguayan Mexican striker, Nery Castillo, for you to consider. The best caption submitted for the contest will win one of our new SBI Mafia t-shirts by Objectivo.


SvenNery (AP) 

"Nery, this is two jobs I lose with you on the team. You don't think I noticed the pattern?"


"Don't even think about asking me to bring you to Portsmouth."

Now it's your turn. Share your best caption entry for the above photos and we will select the ten best entries before allowing readers to choose the best from those ten.

The winning caption will win an SBI Mafia t-shirt. If you haven't ordered yours yet, what are you waiting for?

Now, send in your captions.

This entry was posted in Mexican Soccer, You Write the Caption. Bookmark the permalink.

169 Responses to You Write the Caption: The ‘El Tri’ edition

  1. Sandro says:

    “Nery, I bet you Honduras will score 3 goals on us”

  2. M says:

    “NO! You can’t make an appearance on I’m On Setanta Sports. Stop asking me!”

  3. Berlin says:

    Nery would rather play in Mexico than look at Sven’s three fingered hand.

  4. Richie B says:

    Nery, are there any Ukrainian teams looking for a new manager?

  5. Steven C. says:

    “Nery… head to the right… lemme snip that unibrow!”

  6. Gabe says:

    If we don’t win, I’m snipping that unibrow of yours myself!

  7. Gabe says:

    [Sven daydreaming]: “He’s not even looking… I could do it…I could tame that unibrow right now… snip, snip…”
    [Assistant Coach]: “Sven! Wake up!”

  8. Nate says:

    “I coulda been a contender”

  9. RS says:

    “If the media makes yet a third voodoo doll out of me tomorrow I’m coming for you Castillo!”

  10. mike says:

    “I’m tired of everyone saying ‘shut up sven'”

  11. Strider says:

    How can Honduras score 3 goals on us?

  12. Strider says:

    3! Shut up Nery!

  13. Kevin says:

    I had three girls last night, beat that!

  14. Justice says:

    Either score goals, Nery, or Ms. Castillo will become closely acquainted with my friend Mr. Shocker here. And he plays to win!

  15. blake says:

    Scissors cut paper!!! Now be a man!

  16. USA says:

    Nerry, I have some bad news and some good news. Bad news is that El Tri just conceded three goals, lost three points, after playing three games. Good news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

  17. hank 2 says:


  18. Robert says:

    “Ok, ok, I’ll make it 3 large cash if you just stop tanking it on purpose, save me Nery. I know I didn’t save you at City, but I can change, really I can.”

  19. TimC says:

    Three-nil down, THEN you start scoring

  20. Judging Amy says:

    All of you. Massive fail. Noobs. Who do you guys normally write comedy for? Full House? Come on boys step it up.

  21. Army of Dad says:

    Two you fool, there are suposed to be two eyebrows!

  22. Jim says:

    Look at me Nery, Ernie is not over there. For the last time, it was an April Fool’s Joke.

  23. MVK says:

    How do you say it? ugh “El shocker”

  24. Amit says:

    If you were David Beckham, I’d give you a full body cavity search like this.

  25. Mingjai says:

    I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

  26. g-loff says:

    “You know, I was really getting tired of everyone saying 2-0!”

  27. Mike22 says:


  28. Squard says:

    Three teams! Three years! This will make this the third coaching job I’ve been fired from in three years!

  29. TomP says:

    Thanks a lot, Nery! After a performance like this, I’m sure to be castrated!

  30. brant says:

    Sven, I don’t care how much millions you offer… SHUT UP! Oh, and you’re fired.

  31. Ben says:

    Yes Coach, I see the three girls in the front row. And no I don’t think they’d be interested in you right now.

  32. Aaron says:

    “Hugo Sanchez is not walking through that door!”

  33. Zungazan says:

    I’m counting on you Nery. If we don’t win this, the federation’s going to round us up and cut off our cojones! Comprende?

  34. Heffe says:

    Nery (impersonating Mourinho): Shut up Sven!

  35. STX81 says:

    “How much for plane ticket to Europe?”

  36. Barrak says:

    “They’re going to cut off my johnson, Nery! I need my johnson!”

  37. j1mbr0wn says:

    Nery, maybe we can beat them in rock paper scissors…

  38. Damiiano says:

    “UNOS! DOS! … UNOS! DOS! TRES! Follow tha leada, leada, leada”

  39. lprevolution says:

    “Bork Bork Bork, firsta ya take-a da Meataball and ya put it in da uder goal. Don’t a-let da meatball in-a your goal! Bork Bork Bork.”

  40. Andy in Atlanta says:

    “Vell eh how do you say… Dos en la rosa, uno en el hedor ??”

  41. Adam says:

    Shut up Nery. Carlos Costly outscored you 2-1. CARLOS COSTLY!!!!!!!!

  42. georg says:

    3 matches 3 points

    U.S.A. does own Mexico!!

  43. Paul says:

    I have been called a gringo 3 times in the past 3 weeks, I wish I was a damn American at least I could be celebrating my countires 3-0 thrashing on T&T.

  44. Chris says:

    Go get me a pair of scissors so I can cut that caterpillar walking across your face.

  45. Remember the three F’s Nery! Futbol, fajitas and failure!

  46. JoeW says:

    Two entries:

    1. “Okay, since we can’t beat Honduras in football, how about rock-scissors-paper?”

    2. “The MFF says they cut off a finger every time we lose. You got to help me Nery–I’m running out of fingers–they’ll start cutting off something else!”

  47. Bob says:

    You see these 3 fingers, I’m gonna stick em so far up your a**, you’ll finally see the middle of your unibrow.

  48. Jim says:

    “Let’s try the Vulcan nerve pinch”

  49. Seth says:

    “3 goals Nery! That 19 year old got 3! What about you?”

  50. Como dice? “Please score so we can win and I can keep my job!”

  51. primoone says:

    Nery…Listen, I have 3 fingers left Son.

    Dont let me down.

  52. salomon says:

    “No, it’s too late to play for Uruguay”

  53. Joeking says:

    If you say shut up Sven one more time im going to 1. shave your unibrow 2. Go to Portsmouth and 3. get you sent to FC Dallas!!

  54. Charles says:

    “Grab my good hand!”

  55. Kevin says:

    Not an entry, just a thought: It’s a good thing they don’t speak near the same language, cause it looks like Sven is calling him a ‘Fjolla’ times three.

  56. JL says:

    “Ahhh well, first David…then Jose…now you? Why do you turn your back on me, please, please, listen to me, I need this job.”

    “Shut up Sven!”

  57. Jeff says:

    Ah well, Nerry, do you think that if I could get the Boy Wonder to grow a mustache he could borrow your poncho and sombrero?

  58. Wes says:

    “Soon you will be stuck in Mexico too.”

  59. Joeking says:

    If you say shut up sven one more time im going to 1. shave your unibrow 2. Go to Portsmouth and 3. Get you sent to FC Dallas forever!

  60. Tony in Quakeland says:

    “She was the best peice of ass I ever had, and I had’em all over the world!”

    (For Godfather fans – he looks a little Jack Woltz-like in that photo)

  61. Anthony says:

    That’s THREE stripes Adidas puts on your shoulders and arms. And that’s three goals we let by us. And that’s three. . . this is like an old “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode, you know.

  62. Anthony says:

    I bought three urban sombreros before taking this job. Now my team’s in fourth place in World Cup qualifying. That stupid J. Putterman catalogue.

  63. Joe Agnello says:

    “NERY!!! You’ll be playin BASKETBALL in Pelican Bay once i’m through with you!!!” – quote from the movie training day

  64. Anthony says:

    Sven Goran Eriksson shows Mexican player Nery Castillo the results of his Japanese game show appearance.

  65. Rob Myers says:

    Sven’s Swan Song! Adios a “El Tri”…

  66. Robbie says:

    “Vell eh how do you say… Dos en la rosa, uno en el hedor ??”

    Posted by: Andy in Atlanta | April 02, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    Two in the pink, one in the stink…CLASSIC

  67. Wes says:

    I gave you three strikes! They’re up. The Mexican government is going to deport you…(long pause)….

  68. Matt Komar says:

    “Callete, Sven.”

  69. M says:

    “Well well well well well well well well….”

  70. Jared Montz says:

    Como Se Dice “Crap” en espanol?

  71. Manny says:

    “OK Nery, here are three objectives for you:

    1. Usurp our captain’s authority.

    2. Go ahead and commit the dumbest fouls you can think of, time is on our side.

    3. See you in Pompei for orientation.”

  72. Brian says:

    Three dollars. That’s as low as I go. I’ll sell you all of my stuff for three dollars. Shipping fees to Portsmouoth are a bitch!

  73. Mike Caramba says:

    Even Voodoo couldn’t change the fortunes of this sorry Mexican side. Apparently hypnosis isn’t doing the trick, either.

  74. T C says:

    The team ate hamburgers not tacos dam U S A

  75. Matt Dyson says:

    If Sven can convince Nery that Scissors beat Rock, he gets to keep his job

  76. Eric says:

    “A-Well, uh, after you whiff, you fall down like somebody stabbed you.”

  77. Ryan says:

    It takes 3 things to hang me. A rope, a tree and one more loss.

  78. Pat Pug says:

    Hey Claudio, you got the number right but the U.S. jersey’s are over there.

  79. BFBS says:

    1) To get a haircut from the Boy Rooney, you need to score the GAME-WINNING goal.

    2) No, Special1TV is not fair and balanced.

    3) Ok, they’re two Europes, Western and Eastern, and your club is in the wrong one.

  80. g-loff says:

    “Uno, dos…how do you say three again? At least at Portsmouth I’ll be able to tell people how many goals were scored against my team!”

  81. Caldwell says:


  82. Barry U says:

    3 times I told you not to piss off the press! So your plan is to play so bad that they forget about that? Thanks!

  83. cwbyjnky08 says:

    I can’t look at you, Sven, your forehead is blinding me!

  84. Randy Capps says:

    “You know, Nery, I don’t really like the Mexican media either.”

  85. Brandon Jaime says:

    “This is Futbol, not rock-paper-scissors!”

  86. Rocco says:

    Listen…if we lose this game, I’m going to go snip-snip and you’ll be walking funny until our next win, which will be a LONG time.

  87. nebraskacoog says:

    So what are the three things I need to say to the media after we lose this game?

  88. Rafael says:

    ” 3 goals! Honduras, and the U.S. score three goals. We are the April fools”

  89. James Demastus says:

    “Two in the pink and one in the stink! That’s what you get!!”

  90. Steve says:

    Sven, I’m jealous of your ability to get fired from this team. Hell, it’s what you do best.

  91. timpramas says:

    “Nery, pull my finger! (Burp). Ha ha, gets them everytime.”

  92. Eugene says:

    “it’s the unibrow Nery, it’s weighing you down. If you would just let me trim it you could be a much faster player! Just look at what Arse-shavin has done for Arsenal!”

  93. The Hoff says:

    “If they don’t let you score, use the jedi mind trick. You don’t need to see my passport, this isn’t the unibrow you’re looking for”

  94. The Hoff says:

    “You put three fingers in a bowling ball, not a soccer ball!”

  95. Oranje Mike says:

    “That’s right, Nery. Three Swedish meatballs if you can work some voodoo magic.”

  96. Mike O says:

    “Look at It while It is talking to you!”

  97. Robert says:

    Sven making a gun sign at Nery. Pow pow, Nery. You’re dead

  98. TheJester525 says:

    Sven: “Nery, you missed a spot right here, under your ear. How can you play football when you can’t even shave properly?”
    Nery: “Can I get back on the field? *sigh*…and they scored again..”

  99. Original Aaron says:

    Screw this! Come on Nery, let’s get out of here and go give the shocker to some Honduran chicas!

  100. Just grab a pair of scissors, snip like this and that uni-brow can slow you down no longer!

  101. Brett says:

    Sven emphatically tells Nery Castillo exactly how many chickens he will have to sacrifice to remain Mexican national team coach after their loss to Honduras, while Castillo looks on pondering whether or not to reveal himself as the illegitimate son of Claudio Reyna.

  102. SamW says:

    “Three goals, Nery. UNACCEPTABLE!”

    “Sven, you know the difference? I’m in Europe and you’re in Mexico. And you’re always gonna be, uh, always… never mind.”

  103. Rand Swenson says:

    “Nery, very soon I’m going to be in Europe and you’re NOT!”

  104. Bob says:

    Sven shouting

    “I hope all of you lose your damn passports”.


    These are the three fingers the Drug cartles are going to cut off.


    This is how they got us by our short hairs.

  105. Ron says:

    Hey Nery, tell me if my thumb smells differently than my fingers.

  106. arkjayback says:

    “I vont be back.”

  107. Ron says:

    Hey, when I took this job you never explained to me that El Tri literally translated to “only 3 points”. If only I would have known.

  108. KCB says:

    Ha-Ha, Nery, you can’t stop me! Now that I’m done destroying this countries national team I’m taking your unibrow as a souvenir! Snip Snip.

    Be Champions.

  109. Kevin says:

    “Bork Bork Bork, firsta ya take-a da Meataball and ya put it in da uder goal. Don’t a-let da meatball in-a your goal! Bork Bork Bork.”

    Posted by: lprevolution | April 02, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    THANK YOU!!!

    I was waiting for a Swedish Chef reference. You get my vote already.

  110. Eugene T says:

    (singing) For it’s one! Two! Three strikes you’re out of this soccer game!

  111. sean monaghan says:

    “Nery, we need three goals,talk to the referee and see what he can do,tell him to make two more dodgy penalty calls or Im packing my chips and salsa.”

  112. SayervilleFC says:

    There’s only one person that can tell me to shut up, Nery, and it’s NOT you!

  113. Adam M. says:

    “Keep playing this bad, and it will be 3-0 for the U.S. next time!”

  114. Alexher123 says:

    “NERY!, This is why we can never have anythign nice.”

  115. CPTKevin says:

    I got just three words for you Nery… “You got owned.”

  116. KungFuSoccer says:

    Three strikes. I’m OUT!!

  117. Joe says:

    “Shave the unibrow and this is how many girls you’ll get…”

  118. Goalscorer24 says:

    We are suppose to lose Dos a Cero, not Tres a Cero!

  119. Goalscorer24 says:

    Look I only have 3 fingers, they cut off two of my fingers for losing to the US! What will they do to me this time?

  120. HE from NJ says:


  121. Justin says:

    Well, Well, Well, I did not know those three women were related to you. I am so sorry Nery.

  122. chupacabra says:

    What do you mean you’re not really Borat?! Then why did you wrestle naked with me in the elevator?!?

  123. William the Terror says:

    “Yes, Nery, that’s right. The 3 a.m. flight. I need to get out of this country ahead of the mob. You know what happened to Trotsky here.”

  124. ThaDeuce says:

    Sven: “I miss Wayne!”

  125. Tom says:

    “Yes, you’re once…twice….THREE times a lady. And I love you.”

  126. Somebody says:

    Please let me fly back to Europe with you, Nery! I don’t want to stay in Mexico… I’m begging you!

  127. elmatador says:

    Nery you told me there were only three ay’s in “ay ay ay ay, canta y no llores”

  128. JakeO says:

    “I will only tolerate you calling me “It” and telling me to shut up when we are winning!”

  129. Eric Griesheimer says:

    we’ll wait until they score 3 goals before we begin our comeback.

  130. kevin says:

    “here, let me snip that unibrow for you”

  131. Isaac says:

    “You’re telling me you’re going to score three goals? You’re club team cant even get three POINTS!”

  132. Eric Anderson says:

    After failing to learn Spanish, Sven tries to solve the communication problem with American Sign Language.

  133. Paul from the AZ says:

    I have 3 dates tonight after the game, one with an Uruguayan, one with a Brazilian, and one with an Argentinian. My plan is to see if they have any brothers who play futbol. This way I will eventually not have to start any true mexican players. Nery can you say revolution, HA, HA, HA HAH.

  134. Nic D "The Texas 2 Stepper" says:

    Nery: They made me mad! They all laugh at me!

    Sven: Well ugh . . . an eye brow is to be . . . no more than 3 inches! Comprende?

  135. DJ Barnett says:

    Simple yet to the point:

    “Shut Up Sven!!!!!!!!!!!”

  136. Ron Wright says:

    Uno – Dos – El Tri I’m Gone!

  137. John says:

    the shocker didnt work in england either

  138. dantheblue says:

    Unless you want to go work in the Mexican Media you better get me 3 and NOW.

  139. Chris says:

    The cartel said they would cut off my head, please help!!!!

  140. Danny says:

    Nery. When will we ever pick up 3 points on the road in CONCACAF?. I’m sick of always losing by 2 goals!

  141. Rastafari says:

    “Hey Kid, let me tell you, Altidore got 3 tonight, why can’t you at least get one… @#*^%! Gringo!

  142. chupacabra says:

    I told you I’m a magician! Watch Honduras score three goals and I’ll disappear!

  143. brant says:

    “Three! That’s how many games I’ll get as coach of Mexico in teh hexagonal before I’m sent packing, just three! I hope you’re happy Nery! You’re not going to qualify with any other coach, either!”

  144. Casey says:

    Nery, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight!!

  145. Jason says:

    Nery you’re not winning the pool! Why? Because I have North Carolina, UConn, and Michigan State in the Final Four, that’s why…you have no one left…your Final Four was Arizona, Texas A&M, Texas, and Stephen F. Austin…

  146. Jl says:

    This will be 3 teams in 3 yrs that have fired me Nery. See, we do have things in common!

  147. CM says:

    So this is why you’re called El Tri?

  148. gtaguy says:

    2 tequilas porfavor!!…

  149. gtaguy says:

    sorry make that 3

  150. Brock says:

    “Three goals do you know how much I am going to have to hear about this from Jose, Jesus!” (Sven turns his head to the bench) “Sit back down, dammit, your not going in.”

  151. Paul says:

    Swedish, English, Spanish — I know how to lose in three languages!

  152. madmax says:

    El Tri, not El ti.

  153. kevin says:

    I wish I had a chance at the USA job when it was open. Instead all I got was this second rate team. I think I will call out sick on the next Special One Show.

  154. Todd Taylor says:

    I’ve have exactly 3 seconds to keep my job!

  155. Squard says:


    Three teams! Three years! I’ve been fired from THREE teams in THREE years!

  156. Jacob A. says:

    “It takes 3 things to hang me. A rope, a tree and one more loss.

    Posted by: Ryan | April 02, 2009 at 11:43 AM ”

    Easily my favorite.

  157. Scott A says:

    Nery, I am so so sorry that my predecessors and I called you up to the Mexican team and cap-tied you. Look at me, I’m sorry

  158. Wispy says:

    Former Mexico coach Sven Goran Eriksson tells his players how many points he’d like to have after three qualifiers.

  159. DC Josh says:

    “I vant to suck your bloooood!”

  160. mark says:

    Now my job isn’t worth 3 pesos! THREE!

  161. primoone says:

    Nery…3 words. “Si Se Puede” Got it Amigo?

  162. primoone says:

    ” And if you cant score…Pow! right in the eyes….”

  163. Mike says:

    El Tri? I’ve got your “El Tri” right here! You guys are “El Zero”!

  164. joel says:

    Score some goals please!!! This is my third job in three years. I have settled in well in Mexico City. I already have 3 Mexican girlfriends. Make your Swedish Father Proud.

  165. ThaDeuce says:

    you’ll get me fired soon!

  166. chris says:

    I’d have more job security with AIG!

  167. Dominghosa says:

    The Mexican national coach reacts after Nery Castillo yells, “Shut up, Sven!”

  168. Dominghosa says:

    Sven Goran Eriksson tells Nery Castillo, “I will not shut up!”