You Write the Caption: The Beckham-Ref Edition

Welcome to the latest edition of You Write the Caption. It has been a while since we had a caption contest, but today felt like a good day to have one.

Today's subject is David Beckham (surprise), who has won back some of the MLS fans he lost with his whole AC Milan experiment (pun intended). Beckham got into a bit of a discussion with referee Baldomero Toledo that seemed perfectly-suited for some comedy.

Here's the pic, now you bring the captions:

BeckhamToledo ( 

                                                                                  Photo by

("Bend it like Baldomero makes no sense!!!!" "Yes it does David, it's gold.")

That was the SBI stab at the caption. Now it's your turn. Submit your best caption suggestion and we will pick the ten funniest captions and let readers vote on the best one. The winner of the caption contest will receive an SBI Mafia T-shirt from SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel. If you haven't already gotten your SBI Mafia T-shirt, order yours today.

Now, send your captions our way.

This entry was posted in MLS- LA Galaxy, You Write the Caption. Bookmark the permalink.

167 Responses to You Write the Caption: The Beckham-Ref Edition

  1. Chris P says:

    I already told you, I’M NOT AUSTRAILIAN!!!!

  2. cbr says:

    becks: mate your wife’s arse is this big

    ref: jajajaja si

  3. RS says:

    “Hey Baldomero…You keep reffing like this neither of us will be at the World Cup in South Africa next year!”

  4. Tony in Quakeland says:

    Beckham: “He said ‘Skip to my lu’, ya bollocks!”

  5. Bill says:

    Becks: Next time, don’t come down here unless I invite you!

  6. Jason says:

    Beckham Less Filling!

    Toledo Taste Great!

  7. Tony in Quakeland says:

    Discovery Channel Narrator: “The mating ritual has rarely been caught on film.”

  8. Dannyc58 says:

    Pictured: Baldomero Toledo and David Beckham providing the halftime entertainment, a reinterpretation of “A West Side Story”

  9. sasoccerfan says:

    “Listen, Baldo…I’m telling you – if you want to do the Thriller dance right, you have to open up your hips!!”

  10. Dman says:


    Ref: “Si!”

  11. Brent says:

    I will buy you and make you into a purse for Posh if you don’t give me the call.

  12. Dexter says:

    Posh says NO! How many times do I have to say it???

  13. USSCCR says:

    For the last time!
    You look just like Eddie Munster!

  14. k says:

    No!!! you put your left out then you shake your arse about!!!

  15. Pat in New Paltz says:

    Becks: Alright, i get it Baldomero, you add the tomatoes after you have reduced the red wine. Why do you always make it confrontational?

  16. The women’s knickers I wear are this big.

  17. Rory says:

    “It’s Just a Jump to the Left… Then a step to the right… Lets do the TIMEWARP AGAIN….”

  18. JSmiley says:

    Beckham: “A four-octave ass means that when she sits on a piano, she covers this much of the keyboard.”

  19. Pablo Chicago says:

    I’m telling ya, the camera makes your hips look this wide on the tele!

  20. Tony T says:

    (Beckham pursing more red cards)

    WHAT!!! I practically broke that guys leg and your not even going to caution me???

  21. DJ says:

    Beckham: “It’s like doing the electric slide in the mirror!”

  22. brant says:

    Beckham: “You keep referee’ing like that and you’ll end up in MLS… oh… uh, never mind.”

  23. Piney O says:

    Becks: Keep that up and I’m going to shake your hand!!

    Baldo: Watch it pretty boy or I’ll shake your hand

  24. Matthew Willner says:

    I told you! Tattooing sanskrit on his arm does not make you spiritual, it makes you full of crap!

  25. Steve says:

    becks – “Don’t you know who I am?”

    ref – “Yes, you’re a past-his-prime jerk who doesn’t want to be here. I’m giving you what you want. Hit the showers, prissy boy.”

  26. Ken says:

    Beckham: “Baldomero didn’t you read the rule book? I am not allowed to get cards”
    Baldomero: “Oops”

  27. cdasilvavideo says:

    Becks:- Is a slap across the face considered a RED card..
    Ref:- Pichie Greengo

  28. Scott says:

    How many times do I have to tell you… I never foul anybody and no one is allowed to touch me!

  29. Mike Caramba says:

    Beckham’s feud with Baldomero spilled over to the pitch after the ref recently released his Spanish-language tell-all, “El Experimento Beckham”.

  30. bud says:

    The Douchebag Convention was poorly attended this year.

  31. smits says:

    I’m normally a top but for Baldo, anything.

  32. gaucho says:

    Silly David. Just because your tattoos look like feathers doesn’t mean you can fly.

  33. jleppig says:

    A North-going Zax and a South-going Zax meet face to face in the Prairie of Prax.

    /not mine. credit Theodor Seuss Geisel

  34. Matt says:

    Dude, the pile of money they pay me is this big. Back off, man.

  35. Robert says:

    Yes, it’s THAT big. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

  36. Dusty says:

    “No Baldo you’re wrong, the Galaxy would do better than AC Milan did against Inter!”

  37. Army of Dad says:

    “Oh yeah, well this means you will NOT be getting a signed jersey from me after the game!”

  38. Dave N says:

    “I’m David Beckham ref, I can do what I want! Just watch me fly away right now!”

  39. Tom says:

    “How are we going to dance with the orange pressed between our foreheads if you forgot the orange??? IDIOT!”

  40. Colin says:

    “You sprinkle fairy dust on yourself and flap your arms like this…and you can fly like Peter Pan.”

  41. nels says:

    baldomero: “que pasa”

    becks: “tu que pasa… increible”

    anyone whose seen the video of beckham comfronting the spanish paparazzo knows where thats from.

  42. Tom says:

    Becks: Is there another ref up there I can talk to?

    Baldo: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time…

  43. STX81 says:

    “This is my indoor voice!!!”

  44. joe k says:

    -i told you i’d give you a signed jersey if i DIDN’T get a red card!

  45. BlueWhiteLion says:

    “. . . and now we return to our PBS special, ‘The Sparring Ritual between the native Baldomero Eagle and the Right-winged Cockney Fowl.’ It is an unusual and unpredictable match up between a species notorious for poor eyesight and another given to frequent flight.”

  46. Dman says:

    Becks: I suffer from voice immodulation Toledo. I’m unable to control the pitch or volume of my voice. Also known as Van Horton’s Syndrome, VI is a recognized psycho-medical condition which you may have read about in Newsweek or Crack Magazine. Numerous prominent Americans suffer from this debilitating disease Tina, including the guy who played Rodge on “What’s Happening” and tennis great Pete Sampras.

  47. B Evans says:

    David: “The Beckham Experiment” is just a book about a mischievous boy who believes he can fly and magically refuses to grow up!

    Baldo: “No David, That’s the story of Peter Pan!”

  48. Michael F. - SBI Mafia Original says:

    (To the tune of “Tonight” in West Side Story.

    The Jets are gonna have there way…tonight! We’re gonna rock it, tonight!

    We said OK, no rumpus. No tricks.
    But just in case they jump us, we’re ready to mix…tonight!

  49. The DJ/Capt. Chaos says:

    Beckham: The Michael Jackson lean goes like this.
    Toledo: Just don’t fall on me.


    Beckham: And I say, that England’s greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
    Toledo: Pitt the Elder!
    Beckham: Lord Palmerston!

  50. Chris says:

    Beckham: “You’re about to learn about the ancient martial arts technique called the Thousand Hand Slap”!!

    Baldo: “Eekk”

  51. Andy says:

    “When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.”[

  52. Ian says:

    C’mon Baldy, you’ve got to lean forward a bit more, mate! You know, like Kate Winslet on the bow of the Titanic!

  53. Matt says:

    Beckham: Hey Ref, you see the new Dell Lollipop commercial?
    Ref: Why no Becks I have not.
    Beckham: Oh you gotta see it. Allen Hopkins is great in it.

  54. BlueWhiteLion says:

    Beckham showing his commitment to MLS with the inaugural mating ritual.

  55. Anthony says:

    Beckham: “I even gave you the sleeves of my shirt to make calls my way! It worked for Blanco!”

  56. JoeW says:

    Who are you calling a poo-poo head? Well, I say you’re a double poo-poo head!

  57. Josh says:

    You’ve almost got it, ref. One more time: “superman them ‘hos!”

  58. older & wiser says:

    English pig dog. I spit in your general direction.

  59. baldguy says:

    In Other News: David Beckham puts on his best showing to date – pretending like he cares about the Galaxy and MLS by arguing with the referee.

  60. Joel says:

    “If you’re not going to call that foul, I’m taking my ball and going to Chelsea!”

  61. g-loff says:

    “Only the captain can talk to you? I guess I’ll have to have to place someone in a position of authority so I can be the captain…”


    “Donovan’s not the only captain, I have an armband too but you can’t see it because my arms are flapping too fast!”

  62. Pappajohn says:

    “Now follow me: Ya put your left foot in; ya put your left foot out…”

  63. MensreaJim says:

    “Why, is this for your next unauthorized straight red?”

  64. jsandog says:

    Why do they hate me? Why?

  65. Mark says:

    B: You want to hug it out?

    Ref: Yeah, lets hug it out

  66. the fly says:

    “When I do this it is not a dive!”

  67. SoulShadow says:

    I know I’ve twice been associated with a group called the Red Devils and I’m living in L.A., but I swear to you these are not gang tats!!!

  68. “I guarantee you my package is bigger than your…..Just ask you wife!!!!!!!!!”

  69. Michael Vann says:

    Becks: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman (Bianca). Divorce? It ain’t my bloody fault”

  70. Rory says:

    is this how you do charlie davies’ stanky leg dance?

  71. John says:

    Becks: What the hell?

    Baldo: Well, you said show me the magic.

    Becks: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don’t go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a… BLECH!

  72. sun_moon says:

    Beckham: it’s first and goal this way moron!

    Ref: you are confused Beckham . . . wrong football

  73. Mr R. says:

    Becks:Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,

    Ref: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

    Becks: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha

  74. werner says:

    Becks: I was only inviting the fan on the pitch for a handshake and some pizza


  75. BellusLudas says:

    NO! For the last time…There is absolutely no way I can get you on American Idol!

  76. shawn says:

    I already told you, to be COMMITTED to the Galaxy I have to be playing in Milan!!!

  77. Casey says:

    Beckham – I am NOT Grant Wahl’s bitch!

    Toledo – The gringo doth protest too much!

  78. BlueWhiteLion says:

    Becks:Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,

    Ref: So tell me what you want, what you really really want

    Becks: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha

    Posted by: Mr R.

    Good job, Mr R. :)

  79. Angel says:

    Beckham: So what you gonna do about it, You want a slap on the face.

    Referee: Go ahead hit me, you Spice boy with that silly hair cut. go ahead call Tom Cruise too.

  80. Huts says:

    Beckham: ‘Eeeeee, ee, eeee!’.

    Baldo: ‘Ee eee’.

    Sorry, too much kids tv.

  81. Chip the Keeper says:

    Let’s do the Time Warp again!

  82. Mark says:

    Becks: “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you Toldeo, but please stop chasing me all over the pitch, stop whistling at me and please stop slapping my butt!”

    Toledo: “I cannot help it Mr. Golden Balls, you are beautiful just like a Greek God! I can’t control myself around you!”

  83. older & wiser says:

    I did not swallow my whistle. I have it right here in my hand, see?

  84. goalscorer24 says:

    Beckham “I will just fly back to AC Milan, like this brrrr rrr.”

  85. Tom Markley says:

    “I bought last time, it’s your turn to pay!”

  86. KCB says:

    Beckham: That was a foul!

    Toledo: No! It was a clean tackle!

    Beckham: Is that my cologne you’re wearing?!

    Toledo: It is! I really enjoy the sent! It keeps me focused on the match! Thanks for noticing!

    Beckham: At least one of your senses is correct for a change!

  87. older & wiser says:

    I know you are, but what am I?

  88. Brian says:

    You put your heeeaaad in, you put your heeeaaad out.

    You put your heeeaaad in and you shake it all about.

  89. Mike says:

    Beckham: “I will never have a receding hairline like yours!”

  90. Frank says:

    Ref: You want to fight? Nobody to hold you back today, Becks.

    David: I’m not scared…no matter how girlish my voice sounds right now.

  91. Mentz says:

    I know Baldomero! I told them its called football but they insist on calling it soccer!

  92. Carlo says:

    Becks: I shouldn’t have eaten those burritos you gave me man!

    Ref: Oh si si. Spicy going in, and spicier coming out!

  93. Denis says:

    Beckham: I already told you Toledo … I’m not going to get you a signed Blanco jersey!

    Toledo: Come on! I have to go through someone! Marrufo got suspended for going directly to the source!

  94. Dman says:

    Beckham: I bet you cant raise your foot like me!!

    toledo: Ohh yeah!

  95. Gord says:

    Baldomero: I told you I am not interested in a jersey…unless you can swing one from Blanco!

  96. fubar says:



  97. davidaubudavid says:

    Beckham: I swear, yesterday I did it. I flew all the way to the six yard box.
    Baldomero: So thats why you got that tatoo!

  98. St. Louis United says:

    DB: You asked if you could use a little bit of my hair gel, Baldomero… Not the whole bottle!

    BT: Stop being such a baby, David. If Abel Xavier were still here, he’d let me use as much as I want!

  99. LEE says:

    becks- don’t you know I play for england….

    baldo- no hablo ingles

  100. k says:

    no, I won’t kiss you with your mouth open David.

  101. fubar says:

    Toledo: No soup for you, banned for two weeks!

    Beckham: NO SOUP? We don’t need no stinkin’ soup…

  102. joe says:

    “Don’t you know who I am?”

  103. jleppig says:

    What do you mean you don’t think I should show up at RFK on Wednesday to boost attendance numbers?

  104. fubar says:

    If you don’t SHUT UP SVEN, I’m going to bitch slap you!

  105. Eric_the_King_7 says:

    Beckham: I too can fly! I’m David Beckham!

    Baldomero: You loco en la cabeza man

  106. smokedgouda says:

    Becks: “Bloody ‘ell, give me a break! I’m outta here in a month or two anyhow!”

  107. Arriaga says:

    Beckham: “I’m only yelling so it looks like I’m doing my job!”
    Baldomero: “Really!? That’s what I was doing!”

  108. madmax says:

    “There goes your signed jersey Tonto”.

  109. Bob says:

    DB- I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want

    BT- So tell me what you want, what you really really want

    DB- I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha

  110. Cool Hand Luke says:

    I know it was you Fredo

  111. Justin Prate says:

    Think Zoolander “Walk off”

  112. Ryan says:

    Becks: 6 months in Milan and now I get to drive my Mercedes through LA to my matches. Not bad, huh.
    Toledo: You’re telling me. I have to hop a ride on the short yellow bus to matches.

  113. SoccerInAtl says:

    If you want to see if my golden balls are real you have to cup check me like this!

  114. JRo says:

    Beckham: Michael Scott called, he wants his look back!

    Toledo: Yeah? Well, your wife called, she wants her thong back!

  115. Gavin says:

    Beckham: “I need the free kick to be closer than that!”
    Ref: “I’m working on it, I just need to wait for the right moment..”

  116. Amit says:

    You like you’d know my friend Sven.

  117. primoone says:

    Thats it Toledo….I give up! uh…for the Second…uh…third Time!

  118. Isaac says:

    David: Ref get off your knees you’re blowing the game!

  119. Sean Monaghan says:

    “Chivas have been terrible lately, but don’t them touch me like that.”

  120. Rekro says:

    Beckham: My wife’s a what!?!?!?

  121. Wayne says:

    Beckham – Hey you need go back across the border with that
    Boldo- Well I’m not the one getting booes around here.

  122. inkedAG says:

    Look, I don’t care if Blanco gave you an autogrpahed jersey. You ain’t getting one from me!!

  123. older & wiser says:

    I’m telling you for the last time, metrosexuals get manicures and DO NOT HAVE TATOOS! (Ok, so I have a pierced ear).

  124. OMG says:


  125. EmorySoccer says:

    “I swear she said she was 18″

  126. robin says:

    David: I can do that Peter Crouch Robocop dance. Let me show it to you.
    Baldo: Do what you want just don’t take off your jersey.

  127. Experience Dogood says:

    Becks: …And God decended from the heavens, and said unto thee, it is done.

    Toledo: Too bad he didn’t bless thee left foot as well.

  128. Supsam says:

    Toledo: Wahl’s book is right. You are a bad teammate.


  129. Seth C says:

    Becks: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

    Ref:…I friggin’ worship you, man.

  130. Supsam says:

    Toledo: Hey! Hey! You! The next time I hear about you bad-mouthing me and my reffie friends to the press, I’ll tell the Commisioner to fine you!

    Beckham: You think i care? My future grandson already makes more money than you ever will!

  131. Supsam says:

    Beckahm: Why are your calls so one-sided?

    Toledo: They wouldnt be if you had agreed earlier to give me that great jersey of yours after the game…

  132. Supsam says:

    Beckham: How can you call that!?! You MLS referees are horrible!

    Toledo: Oh! You haven’t seen horrible yet!

  133. Dan Karell says:

    One more Red Card and im gonna fly back to England….just like this!!!

  134. Scott says:

    Dude, I caught a wave on the long board and got on the end and did this.

    No Way



  135. jacobi millionaire says:

    “What? I cut the sleeves off because it looks awesome. Now get your head in the game.”

  136. Matt is a ninja says:

    You want my jersey AND blanco’s?

  137. Chris says:

    Becks – I am going to hug you

    Baldo – Well than do it damn it.

  138. St. Addiken says:

    David and the ref sing together- “There’s a place for us-A time and place for us-Hold my hand-And we’re halfway there-Hold my hand-And I’ll take you there-Somehow-Someday-Somewhere” (from West Side Story)

  139. Jay-Five says:

    Beckham: “No, you may not be in my entourage”

  140. Fantastic! says:

    BT: Why do they call you Kournikova?
    DB: Baldomero, you say? I don’t know how to speak Mexican.

  141. bob says:

    Hey, hey David, how does it feel to be hated more than me!???!

  142. ivanov says:

    “you almost got it, just put your head forward and your arms out a little more. There, that way when you stand like this, the jerseys will just bounce right off.”

  143. Caldwell says:

    “You’re gonna need better form than that if you expect to win this year’s ski jumping championships!”

  144. Vigo the Carpathian says:

    Becks singing- “Please, just for one night, let me be myself”…

  145. senevada says:

    I once caught a fish thiiiisss…..far from shore.

  146. Rastafari says:

    Becks — Sounders are gonna take the cup!!!!

    Baldo — I’ll put in a call to make sure you are wrong

  147. GO USA says:

    Becks: You MLS refs suck almost as bad as the ones team USA has to deal with!

  148. Jon says:

    David and Baldo pick the worst time ever to duet the closing notes of “Endless Love” by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross.

  149. CSD says:

    Check out me Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards impression.

  150. CSD says:

    A staring contest (or blinking contest) is a game in which two people stare into each other’s eyes and attempt to maintain eye contact for a longer period of time than their opponent. The game ends when one participant intentionally or unintentionally looks away. A popular variation of the game exists in which the participants not only attempts to maintain eye contact, but also must resist the urge to blink; creating a physical challenge as well as a psychological one. Most other variations revolve chiefly around either of these two core objectives, with some prohibiting virtually any action but staring (laughing, making a face, winking, nodding, talking, touching, bobbing, etc) and others allowing the aggressive use of these same actions to force an opponent into defeat.

  151. CSD says:

    You put your right foot in
    And you shake your arms all about
    That’s what it’s all about

  152. bob says:

    For the last time I am not the voice of the Geico Gecko!!

  153. martin says:

    REf Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

    Becks,.. “New car, caviar, four star daydream,
    Think I’ll buy me a football team”

  154. Leonardo says:

    “it’s bloody disgusting man!” “i told you i ordered EXTRA LARGE!”

  155. Leonardo says:

    I already told you, I’M NOT AUSTRAILIAN!!!!

    Posted by: Chris P | September 01, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    my favorite by far

  156. bill says:

    Beckham: “and I’ll jump in to your arms just like the end of dirty dancing.”

    Baldo: “Yes and I will be Patrick Swayze so I get to tell Bruce that no one puts baby in the corner.”

  157. DSubbs says:

    ‘no I’m going to south Africa!!!!!.no I’m going to south Africa!!!!.well i played for ac Malian!

  158. 3VIL L33T says:

    Is David Beckham gonna have to slap a bitch?

  159. JL says:

    But David you said you loved me..

    No it’s over, now stop or I will b!tch slap you in front of 20,000.

  160. mwc says:

    They had NINE number one singles in the U.K.! Nine!!

  161. mwc says:

    For the last time, mate, you do not have anything stuck in your teeth!

  162. mwc says:

    Yes, Brooklyn and Romeo! I can’t believe I’m getting stick from a guy named Baldomero!

  163. Bob says:

    Insert the Christian Bale rant from earlier this year.

  164. older & wiser says:

    Boy, those guys in the wall look waaaay tall. Are you sure they’re really ten yards away?

  165. Steed says:

    Hah! Neither of us is World Class, but everybody on the field still has to act like they respect us.

  166. gary says:

    My name is DAVID BECKHAM…I don’t even know anyones named Ben Dayho.

  167. Josh Davis says:

    Posh’s boobs are real!