You Write the Caption: The USA-Costa Rica edition

One of the most bizarre aspects of the U.S. men's national team's 2-2 vs. Costa Rica was Costa Rican head coach Rene Simoes' ejection and the subsequent dust-up that saw a team trainer also tossed and Simoes escorted from the field by security.

That scene not only contributed to the additional stoppage time the United States used to find last-gasp equalizer, it also provided some comic relief.

With that in mind, here is our latest You Write the Caption:

Rene Simoes ( 
                                                                       Photo by

"I don't know where it went. I had a two-goal lead right here officer."

Now it's your turn. Write a funny caption to go with this photo and we will select the ten best and have SBI readers vote on which caption is the best. I will work on securing a prize for the winner (And no, I didn't forget the Beckham-Referee YWTC, I will post the best of those entries on Friday).

Send your captions our way.

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167 Responses to You Write the Caption: The USA-Costa Rica edition

  1. Steve says:

    The powerful nation of Costa Rica gets no respect in this po-dunk town.

  2. boneall says:

    What, we’re not going to South Africa!?!?

  3. Brian says:

    Officer, it wasn’t my third-place spot. I was just holding it for a friend.

  4. HUC says:

    Where has “You Write the Caption” been the last two months?

  5. PC says:

    “I beg to differ. You need a purpose when not loitering…therefore you must go.”

  6. ELAC says:

    Can you guys escort me back to Costa Rica, too?

  7. Nick in Boston says:

    Excuse me officer, can you give me directions to South Afri… Uh..I mean Uraguay?

  8. alex G (CSUF) says:

    What do you mean you got plane tickets for South America? I wanted South Africa!

  9. WonsanUnited says:

    I makea da pizza pie!

  10. Rocco says:

    Come on, officers, I was just explaining to him that I wanted a Nobel Peace Prize too…I thought everyone in DC gets one for free.

  11. Eric Griesheimer says:

    “Do I get to coach against Uraguay”

  12. Dannyc58 says:

    Arthur Fonzerelli grew a mustache and tried to impersonate Rene Simoes, however he was found out as an imposter when he would only reply with “thumbs up”.

  13. Steve says:

    But officer, why would I want to go to Montevideo?

  14. daggius says:


  15. Werner says:

    “I was trying to sub in Gilbert Arenas”

  16. KungFuSoccer says:

    Spare some change for the unemployed?

  17. Matthew says:

    “He’s not just a puppet, he’s a real BOY!”

  18. irant_irave says:

    Officer you have mistaken me for someone else, my name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionare, I own a…

  19. Jon says:

    “Dey call my boys diving sofabishes, I don’t know deez words.”

  20. Mr. Roboto says:

    But I tell you again – this was not my marijuana, it belongs to the coach of the Honduran National Team!

  21. Colin says:

    “If it weren”t for those meddling kids I would have gotten away with it too…”

  22. daggius says:

    “Yeah, so maybe my hat has a cape. Sometimes it rains in The Matrix.”

  23. George Costanza says:

    Who’s Deloris? She said I did what?

  24. LEE says:

    hey! I am 70 yrs old , you dont need 4 police officers to escort me out..

  25. Wispy says:

    “Coach, stop doing the Macarena and leave the pitch.”

  26. Hugo says:

    I am Phil Scolari! I swear!

  27. Kwall says:

    Simoes: “Officer, is it raining?”

    DC’s Finest: “No, those are the tears of your players as you lost them two points!”

  28. daggius says:

    Why you do this to Papi? You no like my pasta??

  29. KungFuSoccer says:

    So the Doctor put his hands like this and said “cough.”

  30. OJ says:

    But the gloves didn’t fit.

  31. adam b says:

    Im just trying to find luigi

  32. William the Terror says:

    “don’t taze me, bro!”

  33. Jeff says:

    Here I was all worked up to the most fantastic belly slide! How can you take that away from me?

  34. jcdunn says:

    What, me worry?

  35. Army of Dad says:

    “That red card? Is no mine!”

  36. Jamoke says:

    “I have no idea who Frank Sobotka is, and stop calling me ‘The Greek.’ Go back to Baltimore.”

  37. Jon M. Roberts says:

    “que pasa??? pero esperense…que paso? my english no good, guat hapen?

  38. Toumba says:

    Simoes: “I don’t know….uh…Chivas USA?”
    COP: “Errrrrrrr…wrong! Come with us.”
    Simoes: “Wait, wait”

    MLS Trivia Police are REAL and should be respected at all times!

  39. ManU Fan says:

    Officers, I was just trying to do DC United and Kevin Payne a favor. I don’t know why the bomb didn’t go off inside my jacket. You know they need a new stadium.

  40. Aaron in StL says:

    “Oh God, Chris Hansen….I swear I’ve never done this before!”

  41. Pat Pug says:

    “What? I see smoke, I yell bomb. This is problem?

  42. Goalscorer24 says:

    I am a coach, I am not here illegally!

  43. Al_OC says:

    I’m telling you, these 2 hands propped up Ben Olsen’s ass for the ESPN Magazine body issue.

  44. JSmiley says:

    “You mean cheap diving and stalling tactics don’t win you any fans on the blogs? ¿Quién sabe?”

  45. Adam in Irvine says:

    “Thanks for escorting me to the locker room guys. Anyone want to hear my ‘Evita’ impersonation…’Don’t cry for me Maradona!'”

  46. Chad says:

    I really did have free candy!

  47. Dman says:

    “I’m sorry I thought this was America…..”

  48. Sean says:

    You must be mistaking me for my brother, Ron Jeremy?

  49. William the Terror says:

    i am familair with tarjeta roja and tarjeta amarilla, but i know nothing of this “tarjeta verde” you ask for.

  50. Adam says:

    It’s a me Mario.

  51. steve says:

    Costa Rica Manager – “Ok…here’s what I wanted to tell the ref…I was politely trying to tell him tha..”

    DC Cop – “yo mr manager of costa rica, i know you guys are close to qualifying and all…and ima let you finish, but mexico’s manager had one of the best sending offs of all time yo!”

  52. Aaron in StL says:

    “Call me old fashioned, but I thought you actually had to DO something to win a Nobel Prize…our President mediated a potential war to get his! Boom. I said it.”

  53. K Bone says:

    Thanks for the escort fellas, it’s really not necessary…wait, is that Craig Bellamy!?!

  54. chupacabra says:

    Officer, those ten men over there just stole my ticket to South Africa!

  55. Luis F says:

    I don’t see how Ives doesn’t win this by himself. Ives, your caption is the best by far.

  56. Al_OC says:

    You got the wrong guy. I’m Juan Valdez, the Colombian Coffee commercial guy.

  57. Mentz says:

    Cop: Senor I’m going to have to ask you to kindly leave.

    Coach: Mi Scuzzi, mi scuzzi.

    Cop: I don’t know what that means but please take your hand off my leg.

  58. Mark says:

    Good one Steve. The Kanye stuff never get old…

  59. Brent McD says:

    ouch! I really feel bad for Costa Rica. I’ve taken several trips to their beautiful country, and the Ticos are good people in general. Hopefully they can get a great result at Saprissa and hold on at the Centenario. Would love to see four CONCACAF teams in South Africa next summer.

  60. crazysteve says:

    Oops!! I think I just crapped my pants.

  61. g-loff says:

    “What!?! Sir Alex Ferguson never gets kicked out for this!!!”

  62. Patricio says:

    “Git your stinking america paws off of me – don’t you know, I am also een inspecta of dee lew. And I vill find the pink panther diamond…een fact, I vill look fer eet in Montevideo soon.”

    [apologies for the poor P.Sellers written accent]

  63. TJPierce says:

    No hablo ingles, senor!!!

  64. Biggy says:

    I don’t know where my team went either. They were here a minute ago and they just disappeared! Maybe you can help me look?

  65. Paul D says:

    I didn’t bring my Rosetta Stone with me, thus I can’t communicate with you. I will instead resort to hand gestures and yelling.

  66. romanov says:

    Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual coach a soccer team?

    (inspiration via Larry David on Curb)

  67. Art in Texas says:

    WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! Why? Why? Why can’t we have great comebacks like the USA?

  68. Paul says:

    Oh no I think I saw a putty cat, oh my bad that was the ganga talking, that I had left over from my time coaching the reggae boyz!!!

  69. Ron says:

    Gentleman, a two goal lead is like fine breasts, if you don’t take care of them, they leave you with blue soccer balls.

  70. “C’mon, I ordered that pizza 45 minutes ago.”

  71. Arriaga says:

    Two Teams No Cup.

  72. Big Chil says:

    You can’t arrest me! What is this, some podunk banana republic like Costa Rica or Honduras?

  73. Ed says:

    “I don’t understand, my green card must have fallen out of my pocket on the way to the stadium…honest!”

  74. Jimmy Bobo says:

    “Look officers…she said she was 18 and she had titties way out to here. How could I possibly pass that up?”

  75. Josh says:

    At-ti-ca!! At-ti-ca!! AT-TI-CA!!!!

  76. John D says:

    Please don’t send me back to Choke-a-Rica

  77. Rekro says:

    “Book ’em Dan-o”

  78. Andrew Wallace says:

    What? I don’t even like gallo pinto.

  79. Rastafari says:

    “5 dollar foot long”

  80. Adam in Irvine says:

    “It’s amazing…it’s a blanket…but it has sleeves…so you put your hands through it like this.”

  81. older & wiser says:

    “Beckham invited me down on the pitch for a beer, honest.”

  82. older & wiser says:

    “It was time for an umbrella drink anyway. . . ”

  83. chupacabra says:

    Take a look at these hands.
    Take a look at these hands.
    The hand speaks. The hand of a government man.
    Well I’m a tumbler. Born under punches.

  84. Onoda says:

    “I cannota finda Luigi anywhere”

  85. BrianK says:

    “Officer,…please,…believe me, I have no idea where this guy John O’Brien is.”

  86. JeffK says:

    “Look, I know I’m a foreigner near the White House, but all I said was that I didn’t think Obama had done enough yet to warrant the Nobel Peace Prize.”

  87. DC Josh says:

    “Whatya meana Iya canta joina da policia servicia? Looka ata mya moostachea!”

  88. NicholasJ says:

    Badges! We don’t need no stinking badges.

  89. ash says:

    “Please no send me to da locka room. Der iz nossing to do in zer, except watcha da t.v. which only have da ESPN. Please…no make me listen to John Harkes say the obvious commentary. Why he still gotta the job? Dis iz a recession. Why dey no shut his microphone off?”

  90. rob moyer says:

    Officer, I sware I have my passport back at the hotel

  91. Modibo says:

    But if all four of you come, you’re only protecting me six hours a day. The rest of the time, you’re on the beach!

  92. Yinka Double Dare says:

    Hey, don’t look at me, I wasn’t the one who stole Grant Wahl’s wallet. I’m not even Honduran! You can tell because I’m not going to the World Cup yet.

  93. Eugene T says:

    Rene Simoes futilely attempts to convince authorities that he found Harry Potter’s missing Invisibility Cloak.

  94. KCB says:

    Simoes: ¿Por qué oficial? Yo no hice nada.

    Officer: Come Again?

    Simoes: Acabo de comer un hongo. Perdí mi flor del fuego.

    Officer: You know I don’t speak Spanish! In English please!

  95. brandon says:

    Officer I don’t know why you’re asking me to leave, I DO like you poncho hat

  96. I <3 MLS says:

    “officer, did you get those soccer shoes I sent you?”

  97. KCB says:

    You must let me go, I must save the Princess! She is being help captive by King Bowser in the far away land of South Africa!

  98. dantheblue says:

    What do you mean the Phillies? I likea da Doyers and the Angels in World Series.

  99. Rageman says:

    Officer: “I’m going to have to arrest your for impersonating an officer of the law”

    Simoes: “But . . . But . . . I was just showing them my Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau costume for the upcoming Halloween party!”

  100. I don’t know how I ended up here!? Luigi and I were plumbing and then here I was coaching.

  101. Robert says:

    Abooboo dababa

  102. speekeasy says:

    At least we don’t have to play Argentina

  103. golfstrom says:

    Why did they make all those signs for Robbie Rogers? He didn’t even start!

  104. Gil Eng says:

    Again, with the firing? Oi! Oh, it’s just an ejection!

  105. SoccerJohn says:

    Officer: “Sir, you are under arrest for public defecation. Please come with us.”

    Simoes: “What, for that little thing? I just got a little scared when I realized the ref was tracking how much time we spent faking injuries. All the other teams said it worked like a charm.”

  106. Ed Fliegauf says:

    No habla espanol?

  107. cas says:

    Uncle Leo gets escorted out of the bookstore after Jerry rats him out for shoplifting.

  108. brandon says:

    I don’t know how this happened, but I just got outcoached by Bob Bradley

  109. Tman says:

    I swear I didn’t steal the golden ticket. My nephew Charlie found it inside a Wonka Bar.

  110. Louis says:

    But its a me! Mario!!!

  111. daggius says:

    A goobada boobadie

  112. Steve says:

    Seriously… How am I losing to a team coach by Bob Bradley?

  113. Max G says:

    “Look, if you’re not David Beckman, I don’t give a damn”

  114. mlowry3 says:

    “I’m an old man. I’m confused! I thought I paid for it. What’s my name? Will you take me home?”

  115. Zach says:

    What?? I swear I wasn’t trying to steal your police rain hat

  116. This Guy says:

    “Dey call my boys diving sofabishes, I don’t know deez words.”

    Posted by: Jon

    This one has my vote!

  117. Prescoba says:

    “Please officer! I would have gotten away with this, if it wasn’t for these meddling kids!”

  118. Cry Baby SJ Fan says:

    Mama Mia! Now dat’s a spicy meatball!

  119. Carlos says:

    I clearly asked the travel agent for non stop round trip to south Africa not south America, ay dios mio!

  120. RedStateJim says:

    “Green Cards? We don’t need no stinking green cards!”

  121. Osman says:

    – Uncle Leo

  122. Fred says:

    Honest. I was in favor of having the next Olympics in Chicago.

  123. Hush says:

    I swear I didn’t call BB a little bitch for starting Coner Casey once again!…. pizza at my place?

  124. JakeO says:

    I’m not worried. I left John C Reilly in charge!

  125. DJ says:

    Come on…a 95th minute goal? Thats not how you say “Fair-n-square”

  126. El Caifan says:

    I don’t get it… The 4th official asked me if I liked fishsticks, I said yes and he called me a gay fish…

  127. Nic D "The Texas 2 Stepper" says:

    See … what had happened was … aw, forget it!

  128. Nic D "The Texas 2 Stepper" says:

    But I did, I did saw a putty tat.

  129. Flo Obe says:

    All I want is my cowboy hat back! You see, it’s about this big and it’s white and I remember leaving it near one of the goalposts…

  130. Greg says:

    Oh no officer, we’re fine. We didn’t actually choke. It’s just an expression…

  131. Angel says:

    “That wasn’t my cocaine!!! that was Maradona’s! how is he getting away with all this??? ”

  132. Jordan says:

    Dont talk about Playoffs!? The playoffs?!…you kidding me? the playoffs!?

  133. sawatsky says:

    What? You know you were thinking it too — that Balloon Boy kid is a real douce!

  134. Mike Caramba says:

    “Did I do thaaaaaat?”

  135. Scott says:

    She said she was 18, I swear I did not know she was 14.

  136. elmatador says:

    In Brazil they told me that Concacaf was a walk in the park, I just didn’t know I’d be scorted!?

  137. Kutama Nenty says:

    I have red card …… not green card, pls don’t deport me

  138. Kutama Nenty says:

    De stadium was too loud, I didn’t hear the ref say “You are fired”…..he should have used the “cobra strike” sign then I would have gone without fussing

  139. Goalkeeper72 says:

    “How was I to know the extra 2 minutes of stoppage time added because of this was going to kill us?”

  140. g-loff says:

    “How was I supposed to know the coffee and donuts were only for you cops?”


    “I don’t remember assaulting the 4th official, my memory is shot to hell in my old age! See, I even thought we were winning the game.”

  141. jspot says:

    “You guys have a lot better things to do in southeast DC than walk me to the locker room”.

  142. Shane says:

    What do you mean the Princess is in another castle?!?!

  143. Sandro says:

    What do you mean Uruguay…isn’t the world cup in South Africa!

  144. fubar says:


    The O’Brien line is classic!

  145. Pablo Chicago says:

    Six guys were running around here butt-naked last week and I can’t take my shirt off???

  146. krazykrucian says:

    “Honestly, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was holding an automatic spot in the World Cup. The next minute it was gone!”

  147. Drew says:

    She told me she was 18!

  148. MVK says:

    Officer: What… is your quest?

    Rene Simoes’ : I seek a World Cup Final birth.

    Officer: What… is your favourite color?

    Galahad: Red. No, yel… (as he is thrown out of the game)

  149. MVK says:


    Officer: What… is your quest?

    Rene Simoes’ : I seek a World Cup Final birth.

    Officer: What… is your favourite color?

    Rene Simoes': Red. No, yel… (as he is thrown out of the game)

  150. adam says:

    but chris hanson, she said she was 19!

  151. Steve says:

    Jackbooted thugs? Jackbooted thugs!? I’d never say that about RFK security. I said “these gentlemen need hugs.”

  152. primoone says:

    I swear to joo…on my mother’s Grave! I thought sleeping with interns was acceptable in dees cuntry!

  153. SoulShadow says:

    Simoes: “But, officer, I can’t leave now! We’re about to book a trip to South Africa!”

    Officer: “Just walk away, Rene, and you won’t see Bornstein send your boys back home.”

  154. mwc says:

    Seriously, can you really blame Letterman? Have you seen his wife?

  155. Paul says:

    Q: How many different kinds of uniformed security personnel does it take to escort the Costa Rican soccer coach off the field?

    A: Three — one to explain what has happened, one to make him show his hands to make sure he’s not carrying anything dangerous, and one to make sure he doesn’t flop on the ground and writhe around for five minutes.

  156. jay says:

    You know they’re always calling me Argentine, c’mon really?

  157. ThaDeuce says:

    Officer: “Its a crime how much they are paying you.”

  158. cfig says:

    I was holding the two goal lead, just like this, and then it was not there. Can you help me officer?

  159. UPKyle says:

    “our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…….”

  160. Alexi says:

    “I swear she looks at least 13.”

  161. rory says:

    Okay, for once Ives caption just can’t be beat.

  162. dcpohl says:

    All I asked the fourth official was “Cual es tu numero?”

  163. Fedorov Cadmius says:

    Coach – “Oficial. Yo no hecho nada. Sueltenme!! Que gringos mas cabrones!!!! Solo quiero patearle el culo a mis jugadores!!!

    Officer – No way Jose. You are out of here. Please let me escort you to Dulles airport.

  164. primoone says:

    -Please Officers…Please…Dont make me watch a replay of Jonathon Bornstiens Play at LB. i’ll do anything! This is in-humane! IN THE NAME OF PAULO MALDINI…PLEASE!

  165. kc says:

    But Jack Warner guaranteed me that Costa Rica would be going to South Africa…? I want you to arrest that bastard!

  166. davidaubudavid says:

    “I swear she told me she was eighteen. I didn’t know she was your daughter.”

  167. Scott A says:

    But you ask the impossible, no way can I judge which of you wins the silly hat competition