Jozy Altidore’s Wooly Road Block

Jozy Altidore 1 ( 

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We all know about Jozy Altidore's well-publicized suspension and fine for being late for a recent Hull City match, and his punishment for mentioning it on Twitter, but now we get our first evidence of what may be a conspiracy to make Altidore late again.

The U.S. national team striker was on his way to practice (we think) and was halted by a flock of sheep. Having learned from his past transgressions, Altidore recorded the wooly traffic jam as evidence in case he was late again (we think he made it this time). Here's the video:

We have a feeling that was Altidore's first encounter with a herd of sheep. Let's face it, there aren't many herds of sheep in Boca Raton, Florida, or New Jersey for that matter. And no, that wasn't Phil Brown preparing for a new career in sheep-herding.

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56 Responses to Jozy Altidore’s Wooly Road Block

  1. kebzach says:

    Clearly somebody is trying to interfere with Jozy’s development as a player. I bet it was that Flech F. Fletch fella. Something like this is right up his alley.

  2. RLW2020 says:

    “phil brown’s new career” haha…

    seriously tho where does Jozy live? they could not get him a spot in the city? or does the team practice somewhere else?

  3. jig says:

    hahahaha amazing!

  4. Russ says:

    One must wonder if Jozy needs to get an apartment closer to the stadium…? Based on this video, he obviously lives outside the city.

  5. Brad says:

    Ives.. by far the weirdest article ive ever read..

    (SBI-What’s weird about it? You realize it’s a joke, right?)

  6. Indigo Montoya says:

    Good grief, does Jozy commute from Scotland?

  7. Indigo Montoya says:

    …or Wales?

  8. Charlie N. says:

    Jozy late again! Because of sheep? Thats bhhaadd!

  9. harrybalsac says:

    looks like date night,in Mass.

  10. The Atomizer says:

    I was just in Hull. Five miles outside the city edges it very well could be like that.

  11. Jason says:

    or New Zealand?

  12. Adrian says:

    where in the world does jozy live lol

  13. Robert says:

    Yea…. hilarious. I saw it when he posted it. Does he have a british car or American style (steering wheel on the left)?

  14. Isaac says:

    You just couldn’t resist could you?

  15. Brian says:

    Looks like Jozy is sitting on the left side of the car

  16. nebraskacoog says:

    Ives, I love the nat team picture of Jozy at the top… He has a “what the hell is this” look on his face. Perfect find.

  17. jim b says:

    from the dash looks like a lambo gallardo. Not too shabby for a 19yr old

  18. mexicanbluefish says:

    How does the rest of the team arrive on time? Is Jozy the only one relegated to living BEYOND brother amos’ farm?

    Don’t buy it. Jozy’s got to grow up and get to the damned field early.

  19. Andrew says:

    has to be one of the FUNNIEST posts I have seen in a long time!!

  20. smokeminside says:

    You obviously haven’t driven the rural roads of merry England.

  21. JFC says:

    i think one of those sheep is wearing a mexico nats jersey…the plot thickens

  22. PN says:

    I think most of those sheep want Bradley fired.

  23. John says:

    ewe must be joking…

  24. Red Card says:

    “What in Hull? Get the flock out of here!”

  25. Andrew says:

    John O’Brien would have talked to the sheep in their native tongue and, using only the power of words, convinced them to move out of his way.

    Just saying.

  26. timothy says:

    I think I remember seeing that he lives in Leeds and has like an hour commute to Hull

  27. Keith G. says:

    That is really funny, things just get crazier for the guy.

  28. Father of Francesca says:

    hahaahaha…very nice

  29. Brian says:

    Sometime I wonder if the real JOB knows he’s the subject of about every US Soccer joke

  30. r.benjamin says:

    This is hilarious.. Great post Ives.

    I think it’s funny how he caught himself when he said a flock of what.. just in case the city kid called them the wrong thing?

  31. fischy says:

    Off-topic, but did anyone catch the news that Boruc is having surgery and Dom Cervi is going to start in the Europa League on Thursday? Bravo, Dom.

    (SBI-Cervi isn’t starting, but Boruc’s surgery clears the way for Cervi to be an emergency addition to Celtic’s Europa League roster. He will be Celtic’s No. 2 while Boruc recovers. Impressive indeed.)

  32. vic says:

    take some shears next time. if you’re gonna be late to a game, you may be fined so might as well get a sweater or wool socks out of it.

  33. Brent McD says:

    This post was actually mentioned by Terri Leigh on Fox Soccer Report tonight. And the SBI Mafia influence grows….

  34. goquakes says:

    I just spent a couple weeks driving around the english countryside and this is exactly what it’s like… they have no decent roads… even their “major roads” are barely two lanes and wind around tons of blind corners and there’s sheep everywhere… England has a great rail system but terrible road system… other than the freeways there are no straight roads or four/six lane roads.

  35. OmarVizquel says:

    On an un-soccer note, when did every kid in the US start using this “Really??” thing? Was it because of that annoying SNL sketch with the amazingly unfunny Seth Meyers?

  36. OmarVizquel says:

    (My grumpy, not-so-old man rant for the day)

  37. bayonetbrant says:

    Hull ain’t that big. There’s a lot of places within a 10-minute drive to the stadium that are “outside the city”

  38. OmarVizquel says:

    Yeah, the major “motorways” are basically glorified 2 lane go-cart tracks. This is one reason why the American highway mystique in those early rock songs made such a big impression….

  39. bayonetbrant says:

    It ain’t just the kids – I’ve got 30-year-olds at my office doing it…

  40. MVK says:

    I think thats the same sheep from Extreme LED sheep herding… and the video doesnt seem to be working

  41. JSmiley says:

    Where’s Alan Shearer when you need him?

  42. kswiss says:

    Nice one. I love a good pun in the morning.

  43. Zoti says:

    Jozy starring as “The Man who stares at sheep”

  44. Nic D "The Texas 2 Stepper" says:

    “Really” is like SUPER OLD! It is experiencing “some” revival in part to SNL but it is old like my grandad’s balls.

    Anyone ever heard of Ace Ventura?

  45. Jdavids says:

    For real?

  46. smokeminside says:

    My grandad’s balls? like, gross.

  47. bobc says:

    I an ex-pat living in a town outside Derby. People in the UK generally live near a town center and then you drive five minutes and you’re in the country. Cattle, sheep, regularly hold up traffic. I once got held up by a peacock in the road.

  48. howcheng says:

    Wow, how much money did you lose? Your phone? Did you make a police report?

  49. inkedAG says:

    All these comments and no one made a banjo joke?



  50. Jamie Z. says:


  51. CapeCodFutbol says:

    Jozy rumored back to Villareal early due to Hull’s problems. Article from not available because the link keeps screwing up.

    Apologies when / if this gets posted 5 times.

  52. Chupacabra says:

    Considering that the city of Hull was recently voted the #1 worst place to live in England, I’d likely choose to live somewhere else as well.

    link to

    link to

  53. chupacabra says:

    This kind of thing even happens near London. Last time I was in England the Heathrow Express train I was on was stopped for 20 minutes while the police herded a pair of swans off the tracks. Back home in Jersey they would have just run them over, like they do with the poor unfortunate souls who trod along the tracks and get killed every month or so.

  54. Pico says:


    I bet Jozy is starting to miss life in Xerez by now. At least the city is close to the ocean in Southern Spain, hosts a Formula One race and it is a real party town (as shown in the video of Jozy at a concert by Los Delinquentes @ 2:40 ) link to