146 responses

  1. fischy
    February 12, 2014

    When DC United is forced to move to Baltimore, they can change the team name to Homicide.

    • Huffleigh
      February 12, 2014

      or if they stay how about DC Segregated?

    • Joe C. Schmoe
      February 12, 2014

      That’s silly. It’s already been decided that they’ll be Hamsterdam United.

      • Yusef
        February 12, 2014

        Or just Hajax

    • fischy
      February 12, 2014

      Chicago Fire just fell into this TV thing, but other teams could easily do this. Boston Public or Boston Common. LA Law or LA Confidential — Red Bulls NY could become the Real Soccer Players of New Jersey. The Manchester City-owned team could keep their colors and be NYPD Blue, or maybe less cheesily NYFC Blue. FC Dallas could become just Dallas, but they would have to known as the Ewings. And, if Chicago ever tires of their disaster-linked name, they could become Chicago Hope.

      • scb
        February 12, 2014

        “Real Soccer Players of New Jersey” is inspired. Nice work.

      • fischy
        February 12, 2014

        Thank you.

      • KingGoogleyEye
        February 12, 2014

        Second. Very nice. (Though I admit I didn’t get it the first time because I read “Real” as in Madrid or RSL.)

        Sadly, Seattle is stuck choosing between Grey’s Anatomy or Frasier Crane—at least that last one has the right initials.

      • Michael
        February 12, 2014

        How about one of the LA teams as the Sockford Files? Jim Rockford’s trailer was in LA County, after all.

      • jake
        February 12, 2014

        Um….the Chicago Fire was named after….wait for it….the Chicago Fire that burned down the city….of you could say they copied the World Hockey team….

    • JayAre
      February 12, 2014

      The wire FC works for Baltimore

    • Mike R
      February 12, 2014

      More like DC the Wire

    • Timber_DT
      February 13, 2014

      Baltimore Wire FTW

  2. AC
    February 12, 2014

    Enter Don Johnson

    • frank from santiago
      February 12, 2014

      Alabao FC…..

  3. CeezNYRB
    February 12, 2014

    Oh my word…

  4. Hogatroge
    February 12, 2014

    [vomits]

    • Hogatroge
      February 12, 2014

      Miami Current is pretty cool, though.

      • Nic D “the TX 2 Stepper”
        February 12, 2014

        Except when they are a bust and no longer current

      • Ryan
        February 13, 2014

        The local hipster rag in San Antonio is called the San Antonio Current. Not that that is super relevant, but it would annoy me a little at least.

  5. Cosmosfan
    February 12, 2014

    CSI Miami FC

    • Matty Ney
      February 12, 2014

      I am beyond on board for this name.

      • The Imperative Voice
        February 12, 2014

        [Puts on sunglasses like David Caruso.]

      • Rory Miller
        February 12, 2014

        [takes off sunglasses and stares into distance]

        Let’s go bring them in!

      • bbstl
        February 12, 2014

        YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!

      • kev
        February 12, 2014

        i love it.

    • JayAre
      February 12, 2014

      Bingo!

  6. AC
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Current doesn’t sound too bad

    • KingGoogleyEye
      February 12, 2014

      “Miami Current” is a great name…for a newspaper.

      • mouf
        February 12, 2014

        *currant

        go GRAPES

      • Hogatroge
        February 12, 2014

        You do realize the word “current” has another meaning aside from “contemporary.”

      • Rory Miller
        February 12, 2014

        Wasn’t there a show called Riptide? Let’s do that one.

      • KingGoogleyEye
        February 12, 2014

        Hogatroge,

        Aggh! you be blowin’ my mind with this talk of homonyms.

        Of course “current” has multiple meanings. I never implied otherwise. I pointed out that when paired with a city’s name it sounds a whole lot more like a newspaper than a sports team. In other words, anyone considering the name “Miami Current” should be the one realizing that “the word ‘current’ has another meaning.”

        I will make the same observation should the new NYC club call itself “The New York Post” in honor of the many local wooden beams, or the Revolution choose to tip their hats to local mathematicians with the name “New England Times.”

      • Costa
        February 12, 2014

        The other ones you named are absolutely stupid, whereas Miami Current makes sense because the ocean is so deeply tied with Miami…

      • JP
        February 13, 2014

        We already have the Colorado Rapids! :-)

  7. Max
    February 12, 2014

    “…According to a report in the Palm Beach Post, Miami Vice is being floated as a legitimate name…”

    Depends what your definition of “legitimate” is.

  8. bodeguero
    February 12, 2014

    OMFG

  9. Chris_B
    February 12, 2014

    That would be the best club name ever. I can already hear Jan Hammer blasting through the yet to be built stadium. Marketing genius.

    • Michael
      February 12, 2014

      I can’t find any pictures now, but Ruud Gullit rocked some Crockett-and-Tubbs style a few times when he coached the Galaxy. I see him as the club’s first coach.

  10. RK
    February 12, 2014

    Love it.

  11. Aguinaga
    February 12, 2014

    BAAHAAAAHAHAHA. Oh the Tifo possibilities.

  12. markd604
    February 12, 2014

    I just threw up in my mouth a little. This is a really stupid name for professional soccer team.

  13. Forza
    February 12, 2014

    I like it. It’s marketing. I bet that jersey sells like hotcakes. It’s why the Red Bulls should have kept their name METROS and had the Red Bull logo on their jersey as a sponsor. Then again, the Euros don’t know how to market in America.

    • THomas
      February 12, 2014

      Right…Red Bull doesn’t know how to market. They only have 43% market share.

      • Gonzo
        February 12, 2014

        …of the ENERGY DRINK market. They are terrible at marketing sports teams (because they are using said teams to market energy drinks).

  14. Z
    February 12, 2014

    Hey, I just thought of how MLS can be taken more seriously by the rest of the soccer world, and not seen as just some gussied-up, cartoonish retirement home for aging footballer playboys.

    Put a David Beckham-run team in Miami and call it “Miami Vice.” That’ll do the trick. If it doesn’t, stick them all in pastel-colored kits and have them play wearing sunglasses during night games.

    • Gonzo
      February 12, 2014

      If that doesn’t fly, use a name tied to a corporate sponsor. This league is straight out of the movie “Idiocracy”.

  15. BFBS
    February 12, 2014

    ok, given the presented alternatives, i vote for an undisclosed name tied to a corporate sponsor or even Miami An Undisclosed Name Tied to a Corporate Sponsor

  16. BrianK
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Vice,…a LITTLE cheesy? OMG! How about the ‘Grand Canyon filled with Velveeta’ level of cheesy!!!

    With Beckham in mind,…how about the Miami Metrosexuals? How about the Miami Sarongs? How about the Miami Thongs,…could you imagine fan appreciation day on that one?

    How about the Miami South Beach Vibe? Miami Tony Montana’s?

    Or they could take a page out of Salt Lakes book,…Inter Rapid Miami Celtic AC.

    In all seriousness,…Miami Sharks probably works best.

    • Michael
      February 12, 2014

      FC Tommy Vercetti.

    • White Kix
      February 12, 2014

      Did you really just throw out all of those joke names and then conclude (seriously) that the team should be names the Sharks?

      And there is no way they would be the Metrosexuals. They would be Miami Metropolitans, shortened to Metros. Or, they could just be the Metrostars. That would appeal to all of the New York and New Jersey natives who moved to Miami between 96 and 2006.

      • BrianK
        February 12, 2014

        Yes,….seriously. Hmmmmm,…Florida,…water,…Marlins,…no wait. Dolphins? No wait. Yes,…seriously. Tell you what,…why don’t you go down to Miami,…put a ham around your neck and swim out into the Atlantic,….

      • MLSsnob
        February 12, 2014

        I got one, miami is known for its temprant weather yeah round right? How a out fair weather miami? It works in more ways than one.

    • ddd
      February 13, 2014

      Miami Political Prisoners from Cuba

  17. KingGoogleyEye
    February 12, 2014

    “the report claims that the Vice, along with Miami Current and an undisclosed name tied to a corporate sponsor are among the names being considered.”

    In other words, the team will be named after its corporate sponsor.

    But whatever, I don’t care what name they choose. This club will always be “Miami Spice.”

    • KingGoogleyEye
      February 12, 2014

      So please oh please oh please let that corporate sponsor be Old Spice!

  18. FRANK
    February 12, 2014

    DON JOHNDON WILL BE MASCOT FOR BECKHAM MIAMI VICE AND HE WILL SAW A FERRARI EVERY GOAL

    • fischy
      February 12, 2014

      I’m glad that I’ve developed all-caps blindness.

      • Ian
        February 12, 2014

        This is Frank. Frank is caps. Caps are Frank.

      • Rory Miller
        February 12, 2014

        Oh no! Caps lock, how will I enjoy my day with words written in caps lock in front of me! We must ban them!

    • The Imperative Voice
      February 12, 2014

      Martin Ferrero aka Izzy would handle the press conferences.

    • Ian
      February 12, 2014

      lololol Frank, you kill me.

  19. fischy
    February 12, 2014

    Who’s gonna play Tubbs? LeBron?

    • MiamiAl
      February 12, 2014

      And whose gonna play Calderone? :)

  20. RK
    February 12, 2014

    Look at all of the white lines on the field…

    • bbstl
      February 12, 2014

      Thankfully, the team will be able to play at full speed for 245 minutes rather than the usual 90.

      • Don
        February 12, 2014

        Whyi not go straight to Coke Heads.

      • bbstl
        February 12, 2014

        Hmm, the Miami Blow…I like it.

      • whoop-whoop
        February 12, 2014

        boats n’ ho’s

      • Jacknut
        February 12, 2014

        Robbie Fowler will have an EPIC goal celebration.

  21. SC
    February 12, 2014

    Club Miami. What is Miami known for? Partying all night. Club Miami is simple and to the point. I like Miami International too, but “international” might sound too un-american or communist for a lot of people in that part of our country. Bay Harbor Butchers would be great…

    • BrianK
      February 12, 2014

      Club Miami,…not bad.

      • Rory Miller
        February 12, 2014

        Damn it that’s good! Club Miami it is!

      • AristotleTimVickery
        February 12, 2014

        Club Miami does not sound like a good name. It sounds like its a disco club that attracts men of a certain persuasion. How about Miami Samba or Miami Barons or Miami Blue (speaking of local natural elements, Quakes should be Redwood Sporting Club)?

      • RP
        February 12, 2014

        Club Miami is cheese but better cheese than Vice. I like Miami Blue.

        The quakes should be something silicon valley. SVFC?

    • Todd Marsch
      February 12, 2014

      I like Club Miami too.

      It’s really kind of tricky now for new teams trying to figure out their names. Anything with “S/FC”, “United”, or “City” gets blasted as too vanilla and/or euro-snobbish. The sorts of names normal for other US sports (e.g. animal names) are blasted as too childish or cheesy. Reverting back to old NASL names seems safe, but if you don’t have that history, then it’s tough.

      • run
        February 12, 2014

        I appreciate the effort to connect with local culture. Revolution, Rapids, Union, Galaxy, etc have connections to the cities. The use of “Real” “Sporting” “FC:” “United” always came across to me as a desperate attempt at legitimacy.

        You might argue about Miami Vice being “culture” but it would certainly bring attention to the league.

      • Quit whining about soccer in the US
        February 12, 2014

        Anything with City/United/FC is just plain boring.

        Who cares if they blast US sports names as cheesy ?
        The Sounders are our team, we can name it as we see fit…we voted, we love it.

      • run
        February 12, 2014

        The Sounders name has history and hence a local cultural aspect. Another good one (minus the FC)

    • jlm
      February 12, 2014

      SBSC – South Beach Soccer Club

      aka “The Club”

      • JayAre
        February 12, 2014

        Yeah just like “the Facebook”

    • Hogatroge
      February 12, 2014

      This. A million times this.

    • Roman Lewandowski
      February 12, 2014

      Firstly, Miami has nothing in common (culturally, economically, even geographically) with the South, as people know it.

      Secondly, that little barb sounds like it comes from someone who has never spent much time in the South. Just as in the North, people in the cities are educated and relatively affluent. People in the rural areas really are no different from the ones you find in Upstate NY, central Pennsylvania, etc.

      • Shyam
        February 13, 2014

        OP might have been referring to the Cuban population in Miami.

  22. THomas
    February 12, 2014

    I have no idea why…but I somehow can’t help but like it.

  23. Twosevenstreet
    February 12, 2014

    These designs are super nice

    link to skphotodesign.blogspot.com

    • Todd Marsch
      February 12, 2014

      Yeah, those all look way better than the leaked design in the Palm Beach Post. Beckham should just hire that guy already.

    • Tom_in_So_IL
      February 12, 2014

      Not only somebody should hire this guy if not Miami somebody else. I really loved the last to concept.

      • Tom_in_So_IL
        February 12, 2014

        *two

  24. A.S.
    February 12, 2014

    I think that somebody’s getting pranked.

    But, on the off chance it isn’t a prank, I think Miami Vice is far far better than calling the team something stupid like “Miami FC”, although, to be fair, at least in Miami, the “F” in FC could actually be reasonably interpretted to mean something relating to the game. Unlike everywhere else in the USA that uses “FC”.

  25. chuck
    February 12, 2014

    I prefer Miami Spice.

    What? They have spicy food.

    • Don
      February 12, 2014

      Fabulous!

  26. MMV
    February 12, 2014

    If Miami Vice is under consideration, Goldenballs FC has to be in the running, too. It’s only fair.

  27. mouf
    February 12, 2014

    this is a beautiful disaster

  28. ELAC
    February 12, 2014

    I’m a Chivas USA supporter. We’ve got issues but Miami Vice?
    What about “Gatos”? That said, I like LA Law for the rebrand of team. LAPD badge for our new badge.

    • solles
      February 12, 2014

      gatos… worst nickname of the NASL era, which is quite an achievement.

  29. Bleze
    February 12, 2014

    Vice City FC sounds more plausible, atlleast.

  30. Nico
    February 12, 2014

    The Miami Sound Machines.

  31. bryan
    February 12, 2014

    they can do better…

  32. Landon Klinsmann
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Goal Machine?

  33. fischy
    February 12, 2014

    How about Miami Soul, or Sol?

    • Vermonter
      February 12, 2014

      The Miami Sol was a WNBA team from 2000-2002. Probably want to stay away from that one.

  34. Vic
    February 12, 2014

    How about the Miami “Launderers” for all the money laundering that’s done from Miami. If it generates bad publicity they could always claim everyone one on the team gets their clothes laundered.

    • Hogatroge
      February 12, 2014

      CD Miami City Human Traffickers FC United

  35. Quit whining about soccer in the US
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Spice…like The Sporks will always be around.

  36. Rory Miller
    February 12, 2014

    Club Miami is the winner. Now go spread the word on Twitter so we can make this happen!

    • Hogatroge
      February 12, 2014

      Seriously people… do this.

  37. James Blacic`
    February 12, 2014

    I like Miami Samba

    • AristotleTimVickery
      February 12, 2014

      might as well, I mean why hide the fact that thoughtful development of teams in Miami, Atlanta, and Orlando will, respectively, essentially lead to a colombian/brazilian team, a nigerian/west african team, and a british team. Atlanta Safari vs Miami Samba just about will sum it up for those fans who are new to the game.

  38. frank from santiago
    February 12, 2014

    wow, horrible. they’ve gone all “gta” on mls. i’d go with any of the designs that Twosevenstreet put up. ANY of those are much better than MVice…..no, just no.

  39. Chris
    February 12, 2014

    I’d vote for any Pitbull related catchphrase team name.

    305 FC
    Dale FC
    Miami Timbers
    Miami Worldwide

    • Vermonter
      February 12, 2014

      M.I.A.M.I.: Midfield Is A Major Issue

  40. 407
    February 12, 2014

    This SBI post should have been dated April 1st.

  41. mike
    February 12, 2014

    Phillip Michael Thomas and Jon Dohnson will appear on the shirt!

  42. Mike R
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Dexter

  43. Mike R
    February 12, 2014

    Miami scarface

  44. Mike R
    February 12, 2014

    Miami toots Miami cocaine Miami toplessbeaches

  45. Vic
    February 12, 2014

    What about Miami Pensioners. They could attract retired Miami residents and bring famous stars out of retirement that are collecting soccer pensions.

  46. Carl
    February 12, 2014

    Upon hearing this, MLS seized upon a marketing opportunity and created the Florida Rhyming Derby by forcing Orlando City SC to become the Orlando Mice.

  47. El Paso tx
    February 12, 2014

    How about inter Miami city

  48. marco
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Hoovers

  49. Ali Dia
    February 12, 2014

    Nice. A joke name. Love it. The Mighty Ducks and Albuquerque Isotopes saved a seat at the table for this. The merchandise will experience monster sales for 5 minutes, with Becks loading the cash directly into a large bag with a dollar sign on it. He and Lebron will then tear off in a bright yellow Lambo never to return. It will be awesome.

    I could also get on board with “Miami 1972 Dolphins”, which would be pretty awesome particularly they go winless.

    Elian Gonzalez could probably be worked in here somehow to similarly mediocre comic effect.

    Or we can just cut to the chase and call it Chivas Miami.

    • Joseph D’Hippolito
      February 13, 2014

      +100

  50. MLS_Soccer_Talker
    February 12, 2014

    Miami deportivo

  51. Steve
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Spice F.C.

  52. BrianK
    February 12, 2014

    You heard it here first,….drum roll,………Miami Yeyo

    • Ali Dia
      February 12, 2014

      Not bad– Although I believe the locals spell it “Llello”. Whatever– just pick one and save the other for the alternate crest / third jersey. Can’t miss.

  53. Ali Dia
    February 12, 2014

    This might the most spectacular non-answer ever given to a basic question:

    Regarding the team colors:
    “They will be very vibrant colors, which I’m sure people are quite aware of what colors people in Miami love,” Beckham told reporters last week after announcing his intention to bring an MLS club to South Florida. “We haven’t exactly decided what colors they’ll be yet, but we have a good idea.”

    I love that guy.

  54. alocksley
    February 12, 2014

    The already have the Miami Heat. Why not call this team The Humidity?

    • chuck
      February 12, 2014

      Love it!

  55. Brett Son of Stephen
    February 12, 2014

    This might be the funniest comment thread I have seen on this sight. Granted the topic is ripe for comedy.

  56. Simon
    February 12, 2014

    Please don’t ruin a good show by doing that

  57. Gonzo
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Gatorade – “It has electrolytes!”

  58. Mike r
    February 12, 2014

    Miami zimmermans

  59. solles
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Vice? nooooooooooooooooooooooo that would be an embarassment.

    CD Miami, connect with what you hope will be your core fanbase.

  60. Brian
    February 12, 2014

    Will the Golden Girls be one of their supporters groups?

  61. user222
    February 12, 2014

    paying homage to Little Havana that’s becoming too big…

    Miami Salsa… Miami Mambo…. Miami Mojitos, Black Beans Miami…..

  62. Adam M.
    February 12, 2014

    Club Del Boca Vista Juniors.

  63. sobe
    February 12, 2014

    Miami Motorboaters

  64. KungFuSoccer
    February 12, 2014

    Miami always seemed like a bad idea to me, but I always thought these people must have done their research and surely must know what they are doing. They obviously have no idea what they are doing. How about Miami Knight Riders or Miami Manimal?

  65. Joseph D’Hippolito
    February 13, 2014

    Why do I have this gut feeling that Beckham’s tenure as an owner is going to be a joke?

    • BrianK
      February 13, 2014

      I don’t think so. He is a nice guy and is surrounded by smart people. I think they are going to do well,…on the field. In the stands is another matter.

  66. Skippy
    February 13, 2014

    I kinda like Miami Vice. Can’t help it. I’m a sucker for 80′s awesomeness. But, wouldn’t they need to buy or license the trademark from whatever movie studio controls it now? Should be cheap after Colin Farrell drove that franchise into the ground.

  67. RB
    February 13, 2014

    Miami Hipsters, Miami Waves

  68. inkedAG
    February 13, 2014

    Miami Vice is an awful, awful name.

    What would the marketing campaign be? Get your fix of Miami? Get addicted to Miami Vice?

    Call it the Miami Beckhams and get it over with.

Back to top
mobile desktop